BPDFamily.com

I was looking for some information about kids growing up, as we say that borderlines are emotionally stuck at an early age, and ran into this short article :

www.webmd.com/parenting/guide/preschooler-emotional-development

Maybe something to think about... .

Would love to hear opinions on the matter towards BPD.

Reg

Reg, I can't speak on anyone else's behalf, but in my case my girl behaved just like a young child. When she would get anxious, she would clutch me, and not let go, even if I had to go home, or to work. I would try to pull away, but she would hold me tight, and weep... One time I was in the passenger seat and she was in the driver's seat, and I tried to leave because she was becoming hysterical, and she clutched my shirt and wouldn't let go. I pulled myself out of the car, and she wouldn't let go, so I inadvertently pulled her out along with myself and she fell to the ground. She fell, and she was crying, and I picked her up, and hugged her. That image of her, clutching me, and falling, burned so deeply into my heart...

Its not fair... Why do good people like her have to live in pain and misery while others are able to form healthy relationships and be happy... Its not fair... Its not fair...

cska, no it's not fair, I'm actually in favor for a lot more awareness and less stigma on the matter.  On the other hand, they can only be helped when they want to accept help.  For that reason it is extra difficult or as good as impossible when they are in a non empathic environment or surrounded with other borderlines.  As it was in my case.  There has been a short moment that she actually agreed that she had a problem, about a week, and was influenced then again by her husband that she was absolutely normal (he has serious narcistic features and not a good childhood and a violent father towards his mother).  On the other hand do we actually know who they really are ? They don't even know it themselves unfortunately... .   They are a mirror of those who surround them, an always changing reflection of others... .

BTW I had exactly the same experience, and yes it was heartbreaking for me as well... .

Sorry if I opened an old wound. I've been there also... .   Chin up !

Reg

Reg, buddy, you don't have to apologize, my wound has been throbbing for a while now. But thanks for your reply, it encouraged me a bit.

You know, I've watched my girl descend into insanity, and as much as I tried, I couldn't do anything about it. She became worse and worse, and all I could do was watch, and cry. All wanted was for her to be happy, and feel safe in my arms. I Loved only her, no one else, but I couldn't help her...   :'(

cska, I think we all know the feeling, unfortunately, but it is reality.

I've always said to my ex partner that if she was more happy with someone else I would let go of her, the problem is they don't really know what happy is.  She told me once that the only time she was really happy in her life was when her daughter was born.  I think that says a lot... .

For the rest there's been a lot of trauma and abuse in all possible ways in her life.  I always said that all trauma's add scars to ourselves with consequences and that we have to learn about these.  And I was right. But this situation made me think very deeply about myself to discover that I was still suffering from some of my former scars as well.

Personally I've learned a lot about myself and my past, and it has changed me, it will change me even more, my emotional self confidence was also damaged, due to various circumstances, and now I'm growing up on that matter myself... .

Reg