BPDFamily.com

Hello everyone!  It has been a couple months since I have been able to check in.  Today my H is gone for the day and I have some personal time, so I thought I'd drop in and say hello.

Since my H came back last May (after a very bad depression on his part) he has been doing rather well.  He is asking questions instead of assuming things, which is a great step forward.  I have gotten to the point where I tell him what I want whether it offends him or not.  I just don't care if he goes into a rage anymore- I have a plan to leave and I will.  So there!

My biggest hurdle is learning to appreciate him again.  I lost all respect for him and I have none left.  I also have a hard time trusting.  He is trying hard and staying with counseling, but I am afraid we will be headed around the old mountain again.  I guess time will tell, so I am sort of in wait and see mode. 

I started going to school online this summer and by fall I will be certified to tutor dyslexic students.  I am really looking forward to working with kids and adults.  I love my schooling and I'm doing very well at it. 

I am not able to be online as much with H at home, so it is hard for me to check in.  Most of my online time right now is used for school.  But I have not forgetten my friends here. 

Mara2,  Thanks for checking in, and I'm glad you are enjoying school.  That has been a positive outlet for me in the past.  It sounds like you have better boundaries and are taking better care of You.  I also like that you said you have a plan to execute if need be.

So much of this is learning how to care for ourselves, is it not?  Take care.

Thanks,

Yes, it is about learning to take care of ourselves.  Also learning that I can't fix someone else by my behavior.  No matter what I do their issues are their own.  Very liberating, but still something I have to think through instead of being automatic.  Perhaps it always will be. 

It's not automatic for me, either.  We are not supposed to do this perfectly.  Progress...