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Title: The long road back Post by: maverick33 on August 10, 2013, 08:30:19 PM Without going into too much detail, I got blasted in an email about everything I did/do wrong. My question, do I even bother to respond anymore? To me, it's useless. She never sees anything she does wrong. It's always me and when she does think she did something wrong, it was my fault. She cheated, that was my fault. She gets mad and retaliates, that's my fault. What is the point? I do love her, but what is the point?
GIving up Title: Re: The Long Road Back Post by: GreenMango on August 10, 2013, 08:38:27 PM If you are giving up, heck if you are wanting to work things out, it rarely is helpful ti "pick up" this type of junk.
Constructive relationship talks look a lot different than this, and it usually involves mutual responsibility. You said you are giving up... . are you done? Or just needing to get some space to clear you head and get your feet underneath you to approach this relationship from a healthier place? Title: Re: The Long Road Back Post by: Notthesame64 on August 10, 2013, 08:38:43 PM Maverick... only you can decide if you want to continue on with the the circular conversations... we both know it was her own conscious decision to cheat not yours... but from my experience with the abusive textes, if you respond... it's just fuel for their fire.
Title: Re: The long road back Post by: maverick33 on August 11, 2013, 07:40:02 PM I don't want to give up, but every conversation turns into how I screwed this up and diagnosing what's wrong with me, although, I have never been diagnosed with any disorder. In fact, she had been told by 3 that she has BPD. When they tell her that, she drops them. As for me, I was told by the counselor that I should not be in the relationship until she seeks therapy for BPD. She refuses
Title: Re: The long road back Post by: GreenMango on August 11, 2013, 08:19:40 PM Maverick I moved the thread to undecided because you want to stay.
The undecided lessons (over on the right hand margin) are steps to choosing a path. How to measure out if you can stay or need to go. A lot of times those conversations you mentioned having are not only exhausting but really destructive. It takes learning a new approach. New communication skills and working on our own needs too. My advice would be to read some of them. Check out the tools from the staying board too and to try those since you want to be together. What are these conversations like? What is the topic? What is the issue that can't get resolved? |