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Do you ever truly believe their words?

I maintained NC for sometime, blocked his number etc.  He got a new number .

Now its the gifts, dinner invitation.  The please let me try one final time  Let me show you that I'll never  call you those names again that I'll treat you the way you deserve to be treated. You don't have to tell anyone about us!  What kind of life is that? To be lying all the time?

We talked for a long time.  I pretty much told him he can't control himself, that we are not healthy together.

This is the first part of recycling. 

I know I shouldn't listen but it's that part of me that needs therapy.

Has anyone else gone through this?

What would you do?

It'll be a matter of time before he'll hurt me I'm sure or would it.

He's thrashed me so much.

Thoughts ideas for me?  What did you do?

It doesn't matter what I would do 

It sounds like you are trying pretty hard to set some boundaries- that is very good. Ultimately, it has to be YOU who decides whether you want to give him another shot or move on with your life.  It takes two to recycle; otherwise it is just an attempted recycle, by one person, which means nothing at all.

I have gone through this countless and countless times. Every time, I would be sure that this time, things would be different, and my ex never even promised to change.

In my case, it was so hard to resist. Impossible even...

I would run back to her until the final straw that broke my back. I think all of us reach that point eventually. For me it were the constant suicide threats. I couldn't take it anymore.

BPD is a serious mental illness, it is not something that can be cured overnight. It takes years and years of therapy... So nothing will magically change this time around. That's the lesson I've learned after countless recycles. (In fact with eaach cycle, things were getting worse... )

No! When somebody's actions don't support the words they say, then what they say are just lies. Why should anybody subject themselves to emotional and physical abuse from another person especially a liar?

Somebody who treats me great part-time then awfully part-time doesn't deserve to be in my life full-time or part-time!

Personally I am choosing NC and spending as much time around friends that value me and appreciate who I am. I also see a therapist. If you aren't getting professional therapy, that may be worth looking into. It has been very helpful.

Thank you Octoberfest

As I stated I need therapy too.  I'm addicted and it's hard to break it.

I think that i'm stronger than the day before then i find out, nope I'm not  :'(

That is whatI have found out as well.  This last time was bad.

I get angry at myself that I can get so soft when he talks to me.

I need to get therapy and hope someone in my area knows how to deal with BPD.

I've tried therapy before but I never seemed to get much from it but now I know why.  Because I wasn't being treated for dealing with BPD.

Thank you for you reply.