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Title: Need some advice please? Post by: dancinginthelight on August 15, 2013, 06:16:01 PM I have a real strong urge and fighting it to write a message
on ex's new partners fb to tell her that my ex was still in a r/s with me while he became involved with her? The two of them arent married yet and I am seething with anger at what is going on. Not sure if i can hold out much longer Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: obtunded on August 15, 2013, 06:24:31 PM I would ask myself, why are you angry? Borderlines move on quickly, and at times while still in a relationship with someone else. This is their "normal" behavior. They don't feel they are doing anything wrong, and regardless of what you say now, that won't change... . so what good will it do. Facebook is probably the worst place to begin something like this. Do you know the other person? Could you tell them in private and not in a somewhat public forum? Think about how badly this could go and reconsider why you want to do this.
I normally don't try to get to involved with other's reactions to their partners; I usually just try to relate with how I've been treated and what has helped me, but I really think you should consider this before you act. Maybe turn of the computer, go for a walk, talk to someone else --- distract yourself for awhile and see if you feel the same later. I think you know that playing with a borderline is like playing with fire. Please reconsider. Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: dancinginthelight on August 15, 2013, 06:32:51 PM obtunded, oh I wouldnt put it on public page, was thinking of a private message.
I dont know why or where this anger is coming from. Ive held out for 15 months up till now Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: Moonie75 on August 15, 2013, 06:37:55 PM Are you bitter that she's seemingly moving on & happy in a new relationship while you're maybe feeling not so happy as a result of their hitting it off?
That's exactly how I feel & I struggle too on some days. other days I don't. It's like I had a roller coaster relationship, and now I'm in roller coaster recovery! Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: dancinginthelight on August 15, 2013, 06:50:21 PM Moonie75, kind of, suppose its jealousy raising its ugly head, also total
annoyance at myself Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: dangoldfool on August 15, 2013, 08:19:10 PM You could send an congratulations card to her on getting married. :) Let him be her problem. I mean do you relay want him back? I would think not.
Really you just should let it go. Easy to say, but hard as he-- to do. Believe me I know. I dream at night stuff to get revenge with my ex and the new guy. But I just don't act on it. I just want it all to go away fast. Title: Re: Need some advice please? Post by: Perfidy on August 15, 2013, 08:48:01 PM Advice? That's me! I'm a relationship expert!
Dancing, I can totally relate. My little BPDex did the same thing. Actually the thing to do is be happy for them. Easier said than done... Believe me I know! When you can wish them well and MEAN it that reflects back on you. Forgiveness because you don't want to carry that hate and jealousy around with you. Not because you think what happened is right but because you want peace in your own mind. That will give you long term relief. Gratification from revenge only lasts a few minutes. |