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Title: Going to Court for the divorce. Please help Post by: So hurt on August 16, 2013, 07:58:06 AM I will be going to court in a few weeks to hopefully get divorced and settle up on some matters. My soon to be ex has accused me of keeping his tools, paper work and other objects of his. I have given him back almost everything and am happy to make arrangements to give him back personal item he left behind.
I am so afraid that when we get to court I will get blind sided by more accusations. I have a lawyer but I still don't trust the courts. I know he will try to make me look crazy because that's what BP's do. He has already brought me to court for a false restraint order . Mush of what has helped me through all of this has been my own research. Yes I see a T but she won't get involves or give me info on BPD. I figured this out on my own. I am starting to make myself sick worrying about how I will be treated in court. I am afraid of the judges and don't trust the system. At the same time, I don't want to spend a fortune on lawyers fees. He is the one that caused all of this and I am tired of cleaning up his mess. Please help with suggestions to cope or handle myself in court. I am trying to not make myself sick about it. I know the smear campaign is there and the hatred for me because I caught him cheating and now he has been exposed to everyone for who he really is. He hates me for it. Thanks. Title: Re: Going to Court for the divorce. Please help Post by: MatOfTheDoor on August 16, 2013, 08:37:35 AM I'm also going through divorce right now but thankfully it is going smoothly and uncontested. I understand how fearful it can be when you know that the BPD spouse can and often does create havoc through lies & drama. Try focusing on the positives like finally being free from the darkness and chaos of a borderline marriage. I read a good book about divorcing a narcissist called Surviving the Storm which helped me with some strategies. The book even suggests that we might have to accept false blame & accusations in order to get out of the marriage, a greater good type of thing. Anyway, hang in there and usually what we fear never comes true, so remember that and stop ruminating about the negative possibilities.
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