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Title: Hurt from the past Post by: frustratedandhurt on August 17, 2013, 11:03:43 AM Hello all,
First thank you so much for creating a safe space where we all can support one another and connect with individuals experiencing similar things. Just some back story. I am dealing with a future sister in law that has a formal diagnosis of BPD. I won't give too much detail but basically I am just so hurt by her actions towards me in the past and I don't know how to get past that. I am also increasing frustrated by how she behaves on facebook and just the things she posts there, about body image and such. I know that she has a disability with BPD and this is why I am have such an internal conflict. I want to forgive her an move on from how she has hurt me but part of me says "hell no" you do not need to willing include this person in your life more than what is required. I am also really nervous about her reaction to our engagement and her behavior around the weeding. Again I know she has a mental illness and I need to be empathetic but I am just so hurt and frustrated and her behavior does not really seem to be changing at all. I hate having this constant feeling of anger and frustration in my life. Any advise would be greatly appreciated. Thank you! Title: Re: Hurt from the past Post by: cska on August 17, 2013, 12:01:47 PM Dear frustratedandhurt *welcome*
I'm sorry to hear about your frustration and pain Dealing with pwBPD (people with BPD) is a very confusing and at times very painful experience. I've dated a girl with BPD, so I know whats its like to deal with someone suffering from BPD. You're not alone in your struggles! You've come to the right place! BPD Family contains a wealth of information about BPD and the tools that can be used when dealing with a pwBPD. Also, on our website, you'll be able to talk with people who fully understand you because they have been in similar (or even identical) situations. I am also increasing frustrated by how she behaves on facebook and just the things she posts there, about body image and such. Yes, oftentimes pwBPD feel unlovable, have issues with their self-image, and that causes them to have body image problems. My ex also used to post a lot of frustrating things on social media. I am also really nervous about her reaction to our engagement and her behavior around the weeding. Again I know she has a mental illness and I need to be empathetic but I am just so hurt and frustrated and her behavior does not really seem to be changing at all. I hate having this constant feeling of anger and frustration in my life. I cannot tell you how much I understand you frustratedandhurt! I think most of us here are struggling (or have struggled) with this issue. On one side we know that they are mentally ill, so we must treat them with compassion, but on the other side they cause us so much pain! Like I've mentioned, on BPD Family you will be able to learn tools that will help you deal with your issue. Just to get you started, here are two very good articles/videos about what BPD is, and what are some tools that can be used to reduce conflict with a pwBPD. Video-What is Borderline Personality Disorder? (https://bpdfamily.blogspot.com/2010/09/video-what-is-borderline-personality.html) Video-Tools to Reduce Conflict with a person suffering from BPD (https://bpdfamily.blogspot.com/2010/09/video-tools-to-reduce-conflict-with.html) How long have you been dealing with your future sister in law? |