BPDFamily.com

Well I got my Instagram back for the first time in 8 months today. The reason I deleted it was so I couldn't peek at my ex's life. I've let this whole breakup with her consume my life since January and since I finally started to feel better and accept her illness for what it is I reinstalled the app and before blocking her I had a quick look at how she is going... .

I can see what you all mean by identity... .


First of all the pics involving my tags were gone... . No surprise there but then a lot of photos of what she used to look like (girl next door) were also taken down. Everything posted on her Instagram since we broke up has been photos of her with this bad girl urban image. Nothing like the girl I dated. All her photos were very narcissistic too screaming for attention. It was just so unattractive and unlike the values I'm looking for at all. No signs of a new guy but she always hides and keeps details secret not that it matters... .

I guess it confirmed everything for me. I don't want her back, I thought she was someone she isn't I guess that'a all the closure I need. I just wish I still didn't feel hurt and worthless I hate being sad all the time.

After being left twice by my exBPDgf, I have permanently closed both my Instagram and Facebook accounts. I can totally understand why you closed yours for all those months. Towards the end of my relationship both times with her, in the devaluation phase, I too saw her identity switch to a person I no longer recognized. Most people who have never had a relationship with someone who has BPD will never understand how horrific and comedic and sad(i dont know how else to describe the morph) all rolled into one what that switch in identity does to the SO. I have been 41 days NC with my exUBpdgf. As my screen name suggests, I like Ironman in the movie Avengers ending scene, am still tumbling from space towards Earth.

:'( IronmanFalls

Its for the best we will get there. The hardest thing for me is although I'm not perfect i take ownership of my issues and work on them. I would like to think I'm a really good man and I was very good to her but i got no appreciation, no empathy, no genuine thank you apart from a half assed letter from her 3 months ago which honestly was more about herself... . I know its the illness but it still really hurts accepting that isn't easy. She looks like she is having the time of her life but i know thats not the reality. Every picture she posts is screaming for attention or validation especially of guys in my opinion. its such a shame one good man wasn't good enough for her

Snap,

That is one of the cruel ironies dealing with this illness... . They leave you with no closure, they leave you with all the pain that they do not wish to deal with, they leave you by yourself in the relationship, and whether they leave you for someone else or not... . they leave nonetheless. My exUBPDgf towards the end was posting similar pics as you describe. All for attention. It is part of the behavior. In my case, she is surrounded by enabling friends(especially men) who are only all to happy to provide the attention they so crave. I closed both my facebook and instagram to protect myself from further exposure to things that would only hurt me. After she left me for the 2nd time, i will never return to either social network. I am still reeling from the pain. I still tumble.

You are a strong man... . Unfortunately my Career rely's heavily on social networking so I don't really have that option. But i know I now have the strength to not look at any of her pages. And after what i saw i no longer have the desire to. Sounds like we dated the same woman. I hear that a lot on here