BPDFamily.com

Hi all- 

I have my first appointment with my lawyer this Wednesday so yesterday I jotted down some notes and examples that I wanted to share with my lawyer.  I  used my cousins computer and emailed the letter to a friend to review it for me, but used my email address.

Today stbxuBPDh comes home from GF house to watch kids so I can go to work.

Apparently he broke into my email and read the letter.  He sends me an email at work telling me he is giving this letter to his lawyer.  In the letter I said how he was verbally, emotionally and financially abusive and an unfit parent - then gave examples.

Can they use this letter against me? Will this ruin my case. 

I'm at work right now and now I'm so scared to go home tonight.

As far as I can see, all he has now is a road map of what you will allege against him. His lawyer will be happy, it will save him some time. Can you substantiate your claims? Work on doing that... . documentation, emails, witnesses, etc. Your stbex will be working on his excuses, lies, blame, etc.

I found something similar on my uNPDexH's printer. I gave it to my lawyer. It was a claim so outlandish and ridiculous that I was glad I saw it. I was prepared with documentation to refute it, but it never came up.

Don't worry, it'll be OK.

Movingon

The fact your BPDh did this speaks volumes.  He has no right to hack into your e-mail.

It actually makes your claims more credible. 

Not a smart move on his part.

If he hacked into your email that is a crime. If his lawyer has half a brain he will know this and refuse to accept the email. If I were you I would report it to the police.

Save that email.  It may later support your statement that he broke into your email.

Change your password to one he won't guess.  It's also possible that he has spyware installed on computers he has physical access to.  If so, then who knows how long he's had your passwords.

I agree that you probably can't get in trouble for the contents of your email.  At most it revealed some of your strategy.  On the other hand, I would think that besides the hacking issue, your email should have had client-attorney privilege and he violated it.  Whether he will face consequences for either is unknown, a lot of conflict between separating or divorcing spouses doesn't get much attention.  However, it's possible you could make a complaint of cyber stalking and seek some protection or restraint.  (Women can probably get protection easier than men.)

If his lawyer is even half-way ethical, he will not use your email in court.  In the U.S., attorney-client communications are privileged.  While an attorney has a duty not to disclose confidential information from a client, an attorney may not be complicit in illegal activities.  This means an attorney can't rat out a client for past illegal activities, but may not aid or abet in future illegal activities.  Were his attorney to use a letter between you and your attorney that was gained improperly, he would be acting in a way that is in violation of the ethical rules.  (While different states have different rules, nationally, these rules are pretty standard.)

It does mean that the other attorney now probably knows your strategy, but he probably knew that to begin with.  Furthermore, any evidence that you planned to use, would have had to have been disclosed before it was used so there would have been no surprises.  Now, and probably after a strongly worded letter from your lawyer regarding your ex's email admitting to the hacking, his attorney knows what kind of idiot he has for a client.

And I bet H's excuse would be, "But she lets me access her account, we're married after all so I have a right.  Just because there is conflict and we're divorcing shouldn't change that."