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I have definitely 1, abandonment.

I also have mild identity disturbance, I'm different around different people (although i think thats normal)

And paranoid ideation, I get paranoid about my ex coming ruining me (although I think thats normal)

I have a ton. but ive been seeing a therapist who tells me not to worry. if you've grown up with a disordered person you can learn behaviors that are similar to theirs without having the same drives behind them.

I have the abandonment thing, but never realized it till this most recent break up. it was bad. I am expressive about emotions. I can also say that I don't have identity disturbances, but the concept of mirroring confused me for a while. I don't mirror personalitites but I tend to mirror peoples motives if that makes sense. I am nice and warm to warm nice people, but, and im not sure if this is a good thing, if someone rages and tries to cut me down, I will rage and try to cut them down.

Im trying to realize that if someone does something cruel I have to walk away but Im kind of a hardhead I guess. I can be self riteous and need justice in a relationship, but that makes me a prime candidate for perpetuating the disordered dynamic.

I was wondering this myself. I don't really know if I have a fear of abandonment but I was abandoned by my ex and it did hurt. I might fear abandonment now. It didn't bother me to be apart from her for months at a time because I knew we would be together again. At least that's what I thought. Also I can maintain object continuity. So abandonment, not really sure about that one. I'm secure with my identity. I have a life and I am me by choice not because I have no identity of my own. BPD is an identity crisis. I don't have that one either. Instability in relationships? I think that could mean several things. One is that the relationship is on again off again. Another is many different relationships one after the other. A relationship that is always on the verge of collapse is instability. At times I may have experienced one or more of these. I know for certain that when I was with my BPDexgf I acquired some of her traits. Mirroring is normal to a degree. So is idealization. It becomes disorder when it is done in excess due to lack of identity. I questioned my self and the answer is that I have a chance to heal. Her disease is hers and I no longer share it with her.

I have a huge fear of abandonment.  And currently living it.

Off the top of my head:

Fear of abandonment alternating with fear of commitment

Anxiety

Denial

Rationalizing

Jealous/controlling

These are the traits that I have right now:

1. Fear of abandonment (I left, but I miss her badly, feel very alone)

2. Impulsivity (always been a little impulsive to my own detriment)

3. Self-injury (drinking too much right now)

4. Emotional instability (big mood swings up and down)

5. Anger (depression is anger turned inwards, also little things set me off now)

I don't usually suffer from #1, 3, 4. And #5 is not usually an issue except for sometimes when I get extremely frustrated.

The abandonment fear - but more or less I am not afraid of my partners leaving me, but something bad happening... . I guess those are also dependency traits... . The same goes to the closed ones. I panic sometimes thinking that something bad happened to them.

I am emotional, without strong mood swings (if I am not depressed like now), but definitely I hold emotions for a longer time than others do and some of them are very intense. Also I suspect I am a love addict: I need to be in love with someone, need butterflies and all drama.