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Title: day 7 n/c Post by: simplyasiam on September 03, 2013, 05:35:30 AM this is my 4th try at ending contact with ex ive made it 7 days. others trys have lasted 10 days she freaked and came home for 4 days. 32 days she spoted me driving and followed me untill i pulled over and talked to her that kicked off a moth and a half of txt and calls everytime she was feeling bad. next try lasted 6 days i had changed my cell number blocked her in every way i could, emailed her and told her just how i feel about the way she treated me and how the r/s has hurt ask her to never contact me again so i can heel and move on. yet the day she read the email she called me like a fool i gave in and talked.
she told same old story want me missed want to make a plan to come home didnt know how to get away from her new b/f said shes been trying to tell him but he will not move out. didnt know how to make him see the truth, so i emailed him for her lol you she wanted him to see the truth i told him the truth lol. no world from her in past 7 days i think the email may have did the trick to keep her away. i sent the email for two reasons 1 if she wants to break it to him and rebuild our family that should have broken the ice for her. 2. i know im still not at point where i can say no to contact from here and if she is still just playing her game... . ,make sure im still waiting then im hoping the email shows her im done playing the game... . you can keep the ball im going home. not sure how it will work out. im sure she must know about email by now. will she get the point and stay away? all i know is the frist few days of n/c is hard as anything ive every done. i hope its gets better soon, this whole thing is really testing my faith its got me asking myself why God lets ppl deal with this and has given so many more than thay can stand? im sure the fact ive been awake for almost 48 hours is not helping the way im thinking Title: Re: day 7 n/c Post by: Reg on September 03, 2013, 06:14:00 AM simplyasiam
Sorry to hear that you are still experiencing so many problems with your ex partner. First of all, let me say how important it is to take care of yourself. Not sleeping for 48 hours is not a good and healthy thing, it makes your mind go in overdrive, and as you mentioned it yourself, it is not at all of any help to think in a healthy way. So please do try to get some sleep ! It is very important to try and understand the boderline mind for your own good. There's nothing logical about it, except the borderline logic, which is not ours. They always try to recycle us, as it makes them feel better about themselves I guess. They can not accept no contact because that would put all the blame on them from their point of view. So if they can be friends, it shows the world that it was not all due to their behavior. Sending the new partner an e-mail probably has triggered a new abandonment fear in her and she probably will be denying everything to the new partner, making you black and jealous of their relationship, a very normal BPD behavior. The fact that you are now black, doesn't mean you can't become white again from one moment on the other. The moment she is convinced her new partner is going to leave her, he may turn black and you may turn white again. Remind yourself of the fact that it is all about abandonment, how unreal it may be ! However see what is happening as a healthy break. She can no longer contact you by phone which is also a good thing. It is time for you to seek support with some good friends and family if possible, to go out of the house, listen to some good music, see a movie do whatever you did before your relationship that made you feel good. I can tell you that it helps a lot ! The only person you have to convince about this is yourself ! I hope you'll have a good night's sleep, and take your life back in your own hands. The most unhealthy thing we can do is to let someone else pull the strings of own life. Take care ! You'll get there. I'm convinced about that. Keep on writing here whenever you feel like needing it, that also helps a lot ! Reg Title: Re: day 7 n/c Post by: mcc503764 on September 03, 2013, 07:10:43 AM simplyasiam It is very important to try and understand the boderline mind for your own good. There's nothing logical about it, except the borderline logic, which is not ours. They always try to recycle us, as it makes them feel better about themselves I guess. They can not accept no contact because that would put all the blame on them from their point of view. Sending the new partner an e-mail probably has triggered a new abandonment fear in her and she probably will be denying everything to the new partner, making you black and jealous of their relationship, a very normal BPD behavior. My God how I do not miss that one... . Mine used jealousy constantly, and it ripped my heart out! Talking about her dating life and her self professed "man benders." Talk about rubbing a dogs nose in s^&t eh? I couldn't imagine even speaking to mine ever again! MCC |