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Title: His family is his biggest trigger Post by: Cloudy Days on September 13, 2013, 10:24:33 AM I have had a stressful week! And the one thing that shouldn't be stressful is probably the most stressful thing of all. My husband's brother is coming into town for work. He puts on a show with a few of his friends. My husband usually gets along with his brother well, at least they do if they are on the phone. However every time his brother comes to visit my husband creates some sort of drama. He comes back every year at the same time to do this show. We actually went last year and had a lot of fun but the day before that it was a nightmare for me. He never actually goes off on his brother. He just has his little fits around me and stresses me the heck out. There have been several years that we didn't even see his brother when he comes down. I actually thought he was looking forward to it this year but he's already starting it again and is acting like he doesn't want to see him. We already bought our tickets, and I actually invited other people, with his approval. Now he is blaming me saying he has to go now because I invited people, so I am forcing it on him. He was looking forward to going when we decided to ask them to go. Every time he doesn't go he regrets not going, I just don't get it. It even seemed like he was trying to start crap with his brother over the phone yesterday. Maybe to stir the pot so he doesn't have to go?
Title: Re: His family is his biggest trigger Post by: Foreverhopefull on September 13, 2013, 12:23:42 PM For my dBPDh, his family is also a trigger. I know this, I know he's going to make his fits and bhit and moan up to the second before we see them, then it's all calm. I haven't had to deal with this lately since he is refusing to speak to them or see them (and they don't seem to worried about him either), but I know what you mean about his reaction to seeing his brother.
I found that if I told him that he had a right to feel the way he did, it didn't last as long and he felt less stressed out. I try to remind him that we can be as angry or upset as we want to with family, but it will never change the fact they are our family and we don't choose family. Granted, I would never tell him the last part at his peak. Try to ignore it, tell him he has a right to feel like that |