BPDFamily.com

I haven't been on here for a while. Waiting things out. We have a contract to sell the property, closing tomorrow. I asked that we both sign today so that I know it is ready. Our realtor agreed as he also was fearful my ex NPD/BPD would cause problems. He did. He claims he didn't know there would be a chance capital gains taxes due to the sale.

He walked out of the title office and told the realtor to fix it, either get the buyer to adjust his offer or get me to pay what he thinks he will owe.

My attorney was in court so couldn't respond until late. My attorney has called his (his attorney didn't answer office or cell phone so my attorney when to his office, found him there) to him to get his client to sign or we are going to the judge. He knew he needed to call my ex and tell him that but he just didn't want to deal with my ex. So now I am waiting to hear back.

The contract we signed before is legal and binding, he has to sign the closing papers yet he refused. I wish I could say 'I can't believe it" but of course I can believe it. I hope & pray tomorrow will be better.

This is a big fear of mine - my soon to be ex uBPDw has let me know that she won't be participating in anything to do with a divorce; she has insisted she won't show up to court dates, sign papers, move out... .anything at all.  We own a home that we will have to sell and my fear is this is exact scenario happening (buying it with her was very similar - constant drama throughout the entire process... .). 

Let me know how this works out!  And good luck :)

I have heard of a few cases here - only a few - where the judge signed in place of the obstructive party.  It's apparently rare and only done as a last resort.  Generally where a judge steps in is when a party is a no-show.  If there's any sort of an urgency in this such as a pending contract for sale, if ex doesn't sign promptly then your lawyer has to get it back in court immediately for Contempt of Court, asking for legal fees too, and not wait for a scheduled date weeks or months in the future.  Judge needs to tell him (1) you sign, (2) I sign for you or (3) go to jail to ponder your future.

This is beyond absurd, this is obstruction, you've been divorced for nearly a year already.

I hope the judge gets what is going on and acts decisively.

As always, be safe. I'll be thinking about you tomorrow. Hope you let us know how things went.

IT IS SOLD!

Day started out bad, ex called realtor at 7:30 AM, called him every name in the book, threatened to turn him in to every place he could, blamed him for things that happened and things that didn't, you all know how this goes, realtor remained calm this time. This is the first time in months that the realtor took a call from him because of this same type of raging. Ex told him he would not sign.

Realtor called me, I called my attorney, my attorney call his, short story the meet with the judge who ordered my ex to sign the paperwork by noon or be in contempt and go to jail.

Soon after ex calls title company tell them he hasn't decided whether he will sign or not. Realtor calls to see where he is at so he can meet him at the title CO. Ex tells him his attorney & a realtor friend have advised him not to sign. Ex tells realtor it is his fault that he might owe Capital gain tax and that the realtor should pay, his he does then ex will sign. Realtor tells him he isn't about to pay my ex's income tax bill. Seriously, only the people here would believe this conversation would ever take place. My realtor would not have believed it a few months ago, now he is not surprised. Realtor calls me, the calling chain starts again, AND finally 2PM he shows up and signs. Closing with buyers was scheduled at 2:30. It is done, really done. WOW. can't say I can really believe it yet, still sinking in. Still waiting for something to happen that will ruin it all.

All that is left is the hearing on Oct. 1 to divide the proceeds. I know that will be a battle too but I think the judge is pretty fed up with my ex now and will not let things drag on. Thanks again on the support.

And he will try to get someone, anyone, to pay his tax bill.  Sigh.  Expect a no show or a few continuance requests, but of course oppose any continuances though he still might get them.  Doesn't he know that if he uses that money to buy his next home than the capital gains is delayed?  So if he gets taxed, then that's his fault for not buying another house.  That's my understanding of the tax laws.  Hmm, maybe he already knows, maybe that's even what he may do, could be he's just wants more gifting thrown his way.

If nothing else, conflict for the sake of conflict.

|iiii


Good for the judge! I'm headed to court in a month for house stuff too -- N/BPDx is a year overdue to refinance, won't give me the title to my car, and hasn't paid my legal fees. I'm hoping that the judge will do the same that your judge did.

Gah. This stuff gets so old.

It's often hard for judges to see a need to step in beyond the usual day in day out passive boiler-plate orders.  For them it's a job, most do care but do so within the framework of past precedents and policies.  It may be your life at stake, but they generally feel you just ought to deal with it.

My lawyer told me, "You married her!"   My reply, ":)on't say I deserved what I got, she wasn't that way when I married her!"  (She crashed and burned about 12-15 years into the marriage, after we had a child, before that it was more like gradually worsening "high maintenance".)

My response to my lawyer when I was told this was "and that justifies the way she abuses me?"

I really feel for others that haven't gotten as far along as I have. I do have another court date to settle the proceeds yet that seems simple in comparison to where others are.

Interesting note, my realtor is helping another woman who is in a similar situation. He has given me her contact info so I can share with her what I have learned and I will of course tell her about this site as it has been so helpful.

I will let everyone know when I am truly finished as I think that is encouraging to others. I really hope I will be able to encourage others along the way.