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 I don't know why I'm still trying to justify this, and make heads or tails out of it. Anyone elses pwBPD have alarming sleeping patterns? I'm guessing this is tied into depression, pmdd or the muscle relaxers and pain killers. My pwBPD, particularly for a couple weeks prior to her breaking up, she would be sleeping 12 hours a day plus catching naps whenever possible. Is it me or is that kinda alarming?

What really got me about it though, it really became noticeable after the first time she had left me, slept with her ex a couple times then recycled me. I think I took it personal, as in she was trying to avoid me or was depressed about something I had to do with. Lot of little things like this always alarmed me and actually triggered me to trigger her I think. Just always struck me odd that she would go to sleep 3 hours before me and sleep for 3 hours later.

I know different people need more sleep that others, but she would regularly sleep 6 hours longer than me, and I think it wouldn't of bothered me had she not slept with 2 other guys during our relationship. Is it me or is that not normal?

She always accuse me of questioning her "every little sleeping habit". Id respond that I could care less EXCEPT for that fact that she had another guy inside her last month and was wondering if it was a way of her avoiding me and that the lengthy sleeping was usually a precusor to her ending things.

Brings to mind again how she would minimize any concern I ever had. As if these things didn't usually lead up to her leaving me and sleeping with someone else. Which of course is no big deal in her deranged mind actually.

I'm guessing its tied into depression or her meds, neither of which she would acknowledge. So if its normal, she's the first mother of 5 kids I ever heard of sleeping 12 hours plus naps.

12 hours a day is alot, esp if it is done *every day*... .does she have a crazy schedule that really wears her out, i mean 5 kids is alot of kids to handle and maybe with the meds she gets very very tired.

i work a crazy schedule, ususally get 8 hours of sleep at nite, but 2 nites a week i sleep for about 10 to 11 hours (cuz i work the overnite shift my body needs to get used to a regular pattern, plus I only get 2 weekends off a month)... .maybe its just her schedule?

or it could be she is depressed maybe not knowing what she wants or is looking for (she was with 2 men during your relationship) she recycled you... .yes, i bet she doesn't know who or what she wants!

That's a lot of sleep. My stbxBPD wife would sleep the usual 7-8 hours per night, then come home from her six-hour a day job and snooze on the lounge for 1-2 hours. She would then cook or start the cooking, and lay on the lounge until bedtime watching TV and playing word puzzles on her iPad. 

In seven years she never once sat up to watch TV - only to eat or drink alcohol and get drunk. So she spent more than half of each day lying flat on her back.

I understand now that anti-depressants make you feel tired and she was always lacking in energy, hence needing to sleep so much. 

I don't think excessive sleep especially after experiencing stress is a BPD trait. People are different and there are different coping strategies and sleep is among them.

Naps during the social hours, such as evenings after work or during the weekends might be of course a way of avoiding communication, but certainly those are common among different people with different BD traits.

My ex would go thru depression cycles. 3pm was Happy Hour, and then bed around 6, then up and down all night, then sleep late and throw the phone when the office was calling in the morning. No structure, but always needing alcohol and major escape sleep.