|
Title: Shared 2 week and 2 week custody with BPD Mother Post by: pp on September 26, 2013, 10:48:08 AM I'm a parent going through a divorce and fighting for main custody of my 3 children: D7, D8, S10, Mother is BPD. My goal is full custody for me and allow for a weekend visitations every other weekend for the mother. However this is in Mexico and the custody laws are very much in favor of the mothers, so my chances of getting the custody as I want it are not very good. A chance of getting a 2 weeks and 2 weeks shared custody deal might be possible and although that is not the best situation for me or the children I'm very seriously considering it. I would like to hear if anyone has some experiences with a similar shared custody and some advice. What I mostly worry about is: 1.- whatever I can build with the kids on my 2 weeks she will try to destroy on her 2 weeks, 2.- the parental alienation attempts that will no doubt will persist and get worst. She's and expert manipulator. 3.- How dramatically different the 2 house holds will be for the kids, Mine with structure and set rules, hers with no rules or just totally arbitrary ones depending on her mood. Also economically, as she just can't be responsible with money and won't be able to hold a job etc the children will suffer economically on her 2 weeks. 4.-As the children thrive and enjoy their time with me she will most surely try any way she can to boycott our home's happiness. 5.- How much emotional and psychological damage she will do to the kids on her 2 weeks. Title: Re: Shared 2 week and 2 week custody with BPD Mother Post by: ForeverDad on September 30, 2013, 03:01:55 PM Is a 2 week on / 2 week off schedule typical in your area? Do you both live within range of the same school? If not, then it would be hard to get equal time.
In the USA the 50% schedules are usually based, at most, on two week periods such as alternating weeks or an even more frequent 5/2/2/5 schedule where one parent gets Monday & Tuesday, the other parent gets Wednesday & Thursday and the weekends are alternated. Try to get legal advice on typical outcomes and strategies you should use to get a better outcome. Consultations are generally inexpensive. The problem is that most "typical results" are not in our favor. But at least you will know what you're dealing with and can plan accordingly. Title: Re: Shared 2 week and 2 week custody with BPD Mother Post by: pp on October 02, 2013, 01:18:42 PM If it happens it would be a settlement (deal) between the parts, it is common here in Mexico for the divorce terms to end on a deal and it would be perfectly legal and binding for both. Having said that the particular custody of 2 weeks and 2 weeks is not typical at all.
Her Lawyers have unofficially mentioned to my lawyers that they would go along to a such a plan and would try to convince the BPDw to go for it. Her relatives (mostly lawyers/Politicians instructing and directing the "official" lawyers)) seem to be afraid their sordid family history will get exposed on the trail and although they won't admit it, deep down it seems they know she is not capable of being a good mother. We do live nearby and School would not be a problem. A deal where we would share weekdays sounds horrible to me because it would mean a lot of contact for me with her, I actually already somewhat tried it when we first separated for a few months and it was a nightmare (Not very different as when we were still married and living together). Would still like to hear opinions and comments on such a 2 week and 2 week agreement (not so much the legal aspects of it) as it seems to be my best realistic option. |