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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: FullMetal on September 26, 2013, 07:47:16 PM



Title: Best way to reach out to a fellow non
Post by: FullMetal on September 26, 2013, 07:47:16 PM
Hi,

This is different, not being here with a question or an anecdote about my personal experiences.   But an old co-worker, whom I was good friends with back when I worked with them, I'm also friends with her husband, has been diagnosed with BPD.  I'm not going to go into too many details as A. it's not my place, and B. I don't know all the details. 

Knowing how great a community this has been for me, and how the lessons I've learned through here and through books I've learned about through here has made me want to reach out to her husband.  I really want to recommend this place, but as we aren't really close, I'm afraid that it might seem like meddling. 

So How would be the best way to let him know he's not alone, and let him know there are resources available for him?



Title: Re: Best way to reach out to a fellow non
Post by: lbjnltx on September 26, 2013, 10:24:19 PM
The best way I know to reach out to someone without seeming like a "meddler" is to just call them up and ask how they are doing.  Be ready to listen, listen, listen and then validate.  Listen some more and then ask a validating question specific to their words... .ie

Friend:  It is just so hard when she blames me for everything.

FullMetal:  That is a really hard thing to deal with.  Do you have any ideas on how to deal with that to keep your sanity?

Friend:  I've tried everything and nothing seems to get through to her.

FullMetal:  I've heard about an online support group for people who have to deal with stuff like this.  If you are interested and want to check it out I can give you the name of it.  I think it could really help you and your relationship with hit__. 

Is this level of communication comfortable for you FullMetal?

lbj