BPDFamily.com

A brief history: I've been broken up with my ex-GF (uBPD) for a little over a month. About a week after we'd broken up, she claimed she was late for her period. She's made this claim before in a very similar circumstance. She said she was going to abort if she was pregnant. I told her I would not be a part of that decision, I would be an involved father if there is a child but if there wasn't or if she aborted, I never wanted to hear from her again. I have pretty serious doubts about the legitimacy of her claims, as do my friends and therapist.

Remarkably, the NC lasted 2 weeks (I couldn't believe it, I thought I'd be lucky to get a day) until she texted me on Friday asking to be friends. She mentioned that she knows I told her to never talk to me again, which to me implies she aborted the pregnancy or, in my opinion more likely, she's faking it - but she never directly mentioned the previous pregnancy claims this time which I thought was strange since that would definitely be her most effective avenue for re-engagement. I guess she realized that faking it wouldn't work and she's abandoning that ship? I have no idea.

She says it "isn't in her nature" to not talk to me. She closed the 7 text string by apologizing if she is being annoying and that she wants to "forgive each other." What a mess.

I'm trying to stay hunkered down in NC, but part of me can't help but want to try to get closure on that one loose thread, so I can finally know with 100% certainty what's going on. But as I had previously spoken to my therapist about, I'll probably never know because I can't trust anything she says.

I'm confident I'll come out of this stronger one day, I just hope that day hurries up and gets here 

Do not respond to it.

That's the plan. I'd had my phone set up with a program to block her calls/texts to try to avoid this type of situation, but apparently the program just segregates them. That kind of defeated the purpose a bit, huh? 

Good.

That is all that you can control.

I know it's hard.

It sucks that program does that.

It sucks to be emotionally manipulated.  It's even more disturbing with a serious issue like that - only to have it treated carelessly.

She's not going to get NC - its a term for relationship boards that focus on dysfunctional relationships.  In the real world its called limits and protecting oneself from destructive people and toxic BS.

Just respect your limits and priniciples here and you'll be ok.

Ps do you think you could get closure from a person willing to use a pregnancy scare as a way to manipulate and get attention.  And then threaten to have an abortion to really get your attention?

Bold - I guess what I meant was some knowledge of whether or not she actually is/was pregnant more than anything directly related to the relationship. But no, I don't think I'll get anything positive from her now or in the future. So, continuing to excise her from my life it is.

Well if she is I'm guessing you'll find out.

If she isn't that opens up a pandoras box.  If she never was its an awful way to get attention.  If she was she went about it in a way that is pretty vindictive and careless.

Closure in these situations can be soo very elusive.  It's really a one man show there. 

I like to reframe things like this - read over on the parenting board or some of the members with kids.  Heartbreakingly difficult.

Would you want her to be the mother of your kids?