BPDFamily.com

So thankful to have found this site today. I have a 34 year old sister who suffers with BPD (behaviors started manifesting at around 16 years old)... .although she rejects the diagnosis and has called the doctor an idiot. We suspect my grandmother had it as well. Although she was never officially diagnosed she displayed all the behaviors. Add to this my sister-in-law who also has BPD.

I came to this site today out of frustration. Frustration with watching my parents endlessly enable my sister. Frustration with watching her manipulate them. The latest drama is this: My parents are on vacation and my sister called in a fit today telling them that she wasn't going to take care of their dogs for the rest of the trip. So, my parents are cutting their vacation short and driving home. They continually say they are at their wits end with her, but then turn and cater to her every whim.

I have been to therapy about this and my therapist really was helping me to try to observe all this from a place of detachment. I have achieved this partly, but of course it really still affects me and I feel intense anger right now about having this illness in my family (being honest). I have come here really to find community with people who understand what it is like to have someone with BPD in ones life.  Otherwise I just keep all the feelings in and feel like I am going to explode.  Thank you for listening!

Hello Butterfly1250!

*welcome*

I am glad you found us!  You really have a lot going on between your sister and your sister-in-law!  The drama can really be frustrating and I can understand your feelings of anger toward the disorder. 

You have found a great place to share your experiences and feelings.   One of the most frustrating things for me has been trying to explain BPD to other people!  But here it is different, here you will find people that actually get it.  it has been so helpful to me, and I know it will be for you too. 

Are you older or younger than your sister?  I am assuming you have a brother as well, any other siblings?

I think it is great you are in therapy.  I Feel the best thing we can do is take care of ourselves first. 

I encourage you to read and post on the [L5]  Coping and Healing from a BPD Parent, Sibling, or Inlaw (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?board=7.0) board.  There are many experienced members who can help you improving your handling of relationships impacted by your BPD relative, and also help you continue to care for yourself.  The validation, information, and support will give you strength on your journey.

 Bananas

Thank you Bananas!

I am the older sister with no other siblings. My husband is the younger sibling, but appears to be the older sibling due to his sister's arrested development.

This site has so many amazing resources.  Very grateful!

Oh so it is your husband's sister!  It is wonderful you and your husband have one another for support. 

Yes, this site is a lifesaver!  It gave me hope.

Yes, both my sister and my husband's sister have BPD. We do support each other very much, but we feel alone in our families due to this.