BPDFamily.com

I am so glad I found this site. I was weepy two days ago. Reading other's posts helps heal. We can truly empathize with one another's pain and confusion.

So I share this to perhaps bring a smile to those of you aching today. A kind of "you have got to be kidding me ... ." story.

So, exBPD and I break up. Agreed upon by both. Yet, he keeps in touch. I am polite. Rebound girl sees he has been calling me. She starts a jealous texting war with me. She sent me a photo of a ring claiming he gave it to her. (A mere 6 weeks after I broke it off with exBPD.)

It was bogus! He was so desperate to let me know he was "okay" with out me that he let her borrow a friend's ring and take a picture of it to send it.

But the funniest part (definitely not funny for me at the time ... .I cried like a baby) is that they sent the texts while at his mother's house. Who is a good friend of mine.

She totally busted them ... .They got scolded like little children. And she (mother) made them call me to apologize.

BPDs are nuts.

But on serious note, they are hurtful. They will bite you like a wolf caught in a trap.

Rebound girl is nutz too.

You are right Sabratha ... .rebound girl is nuts. She moved in after only 6 weeks. She lost her kids when she got divorced. So, now she is playing "Little Mommy." She actually made him heart shaped grilled cheeses sandwiches. Now, she wants to be friends and share all these cutesy stories with me. I told my friend Karen about the sandwiches. She laughed. She said the only thing a grown man wants that is heart-shaped is your lacy thong. (Hope that wasn't too risque.)

What's your story?

What brings a smile to my face is you seeing the level of immaturity involved. Sorry this happened Century. 

What are you doing to remove yourself from this little "love triangle"?

I am playing nice. He owes me a boat load of money. His mother expects him to pay me back. The rebound girl wants to be in his mother's good favor. So, I make nice to rebound. She knows mom loves me. She encourages ex to make good. Make sense?

As far as healing goes, that does put me in a healthier place. Keep the drama at bay.

I hear ya. It doesn't sound much like this girl can change his mother's opinion of you. That's a good thing. However, from what you say staying "in touch" is a trigger for this girl, no? Do you think it may be in your best interests to limit these "play nice" encounters?

Bottom line money owed from him is his responsibility. Putting yourself in charge of juggling everyone's feelings is still "walking on eggshells" and emotionally draining. How are you coping with this?

Century

Sorry for your rather bizarre situation.  Sounds like your exBPDbf and his new gf are emotionally immature to say the least.  

It would appear that the games may be linked not only to hurting you but to the money exbf owes you.   This gives them leverage to do whatever they want to you with few repercussions.  

You might want to keep your communications with them civil but short and to the point.  What are the HONEST chances you will ever see the money owed you?  Can you get him to set up a payment plan of some sort?  He can promise you anything ... . but will he follow through?

Just some thoughts.  It is very good that you have the support of others.

Your journey at healing is just beginning but the games are worrisome.  Remember to take care of yourself, and watch the manipulation factor.

Stay strong.

Thanks MamaMia. I am realistic. If I ever see the money, it will be a bonus. I know that.

Curiously enough ... .I just had a liberating experience. I am very pleasantly surprised to feel this way.

He married rebound girl after only 4 months. And after one 6 weeks together, it is already falling apart. (His mom called me.)

I feel free now.

And LOL to all ... .rebound girl keeps sending me photos and texts. I am talking about in the past 2 hours. All I said was that his box of stuff was at the front desk. (I live in a condo.)

I am no longer going to feel bad that someone who can't love themselves nor make smart decisions in their life holds my hear hostage. He is a good man in many ways. But he is a very messed up person.

If he makes such illogical decisions, then I can't respect him. And I can't be "in love" with someone I don't respect.

I have to recognize that I confuse sympathy/pity with love. Might make that mistake in the future. But not with him.

Hey Century-


You said it.

It is amazing once we start coming out of the FOG looking back at past behavior/instances as well as their current behavior and actions and seeing just how messed up it all is.  My BPDex told several of my friends that she was engaged to the guy she was cheating on me with at the end, who I finally left over, after only KNOWING him for 3 months. My friends of course came and told me and it really upset me... .I texted her and long conversation short, she texted me, "haha I was wondering what would and wouldn't get back to you".  She had told half of them there that she was engaged, and the other half that she wasnt... .to see who would tell me what.  It wasnt true at all... .she wasn't engaged.  She said it to get to me and hurt me.

She also told me that she was leaving town to go get treatment for cancer in another town... .I ran into her brother 2 months after she told me that (2 weeks ago)... .That is a lie.  She doesn't have cancer... .Who lies about these things?

I ask myself that last question and it starts to sink in how truly disordered these people are... .it is amazing. I have met a few girls in the past week or two.  And while certainly nothing big has developed from it, I am astounded at what I put up with for 9 months... .as well as the fact that, now, 5 months out, I look at what I had with my BPDex and shake my head in disgust at the sham that I called a relationship.  There was no respect, or loyalty, or genuine love.  It was need based love, lies, cheating, and deceit.  Nothing that I want at all.

She actually made him little heart shaped grilled cheese sandwiches?  Oh my.