BPDFamily.com

just wondering if anyone knows some steps to changing fear of engulfment, heard the inner bonding was one, but just how do you know if your on the right track?:S or the details on what inner bonding means

Engulfment fears are part of the complex disorder that is BPD.  There is no cure, but with long term therapy a sufferer can learn to function better.

through what i've gathered, BPDs fear abandonment(lossing the other person), not engulfment(losing ones self). 

They fear both at different times, hence the push/pull nature of the disorder.  There's a lot of great info in the articles on this site and elsewhere; I recommend you read them all if you're serious about learning about the disorder and/or motivated by pain.  The info shed enough light on what I went through to make sense of it and restore my sanity.

Can you tell us a bit more about where or how your fear of engulfment comes up?

True... .NPD is associated more with engulfment.  PDw could be the poster child for this... .

ya thats what i was reading that NPDs fear enugulfment, and BPDs or codependent people, who fear abandonment. i was just trying to figure out where i stand, etc:)

With PDw it's a trust and getting hurt issue.  DBT or perhaps schema therapy to help change?

I know this is a rather old post… but I was thinking that maybe someone could have a fear of engulfment even if they don't have BPD necessarily but have been traumatized by excessive enmeshment from a parent (or someone else) for example.

Fear of engulfment is simply getting so close to someone that you lose yourself, or your sense of self.  Everyone experiences that at one point or another in different degrees.  A borderline, someone lacking their own sense of self, is more susceptible to it, easy to understand, but it's not black and white, it's a continuum.