BPDFamily.com

As I continue in my recovery from borderline abuse, I have moments of feeling like the whole thing was a bad dream. My sense of reality can feel compromised and I can feel quite detached from my life, like I am observing and not living it.

www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/262888.php

For the most part, I am fine and completely in touch with my life. But in the early days after being discarded, I had major episodes of this and have only just now stumbled across the diagnosis.

I have read that this can be a side effect of major trauma. Does anyone else have moments like this?

BB12

bb12,

I had the feeling of 'observing my own life' when became really bad, really quickly years ago.  Looking back, I probably had some kind of breakdown - was very detached from my own life. 

Currently, I'd say I feel more like I struggle with the 'sense of reality' but more with the past than present - wondering what part of my adult life has been 'real' (my exH and I were together on and off all my adult life).  When I read about after effects of trauma, a lot of what I read is recognisable as experiences/feelings I have been having in last year.

Have you read the post of 'betrayal' that's on the leaving board just now?  There's something in there about the effect on one's reality.

claire

Thanks clairdair

Just read the Betrayal piece on your recommendation

Yep - bang on! The effect on the victim is so much greater than on the perpetrator... .as is society's propensity to try to understand.

Our entire 'story' and anything nearing a linear definition of events and indeed, who we are, is thrown into question! And without a history and solid sense of self, 'moving on' is hard.

Best explanation that I have ever read. And explains that 'depersonalisation' element to our mental state. Things become unreal, because what was a given and basic truth, explodes.

Much appreciated

BB12