BPDFamily.com

Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Dibdob59 on October 07, 2013, 02:20:49 PM



Title: UBPDS asking me to contact his ex
Post by: Dibdob59 on October 07, 2013, 02:20:49 PM
Hi

Conflicted and worried at present.  My UBPDS29's ex partner has blocked his cell phone calls - he says it is to wind him up. He says he needs to contact her to discuss their 4 year old son who is with his mother at present.  My grandson has been having problems at school but my son can't get through to his ex because of her blocking his number.  He has tried to contact her house number from his house phone but her new boyfriend who she has moved in to the house wont let him talk to her.

My son is becoming very angry about this and is texting me and asking me to ring or text her to tell her to contact him.  I have some sympathy for his situation but am reluctant to get in the middle of this.

Any advice please?  He is thinking of driving round there but that could end very badly as her new man is there and clearly not being particularly helpful. 

Dibdob


Title: Re: UBPDS asking me to contact his ex
Post by: qcarolr on October 07, 2013, 07:48:06 PM
Dibdob59

Whew, it is so hard to stay out of our kids way when they are reaching to us so powerfully.

Stay strong. Be consistent. This is hard one to be validating, at least for me. Maybe others will have more specific ideas.

Ask what keeps him from checking directly with the schools? Do I remember correctly that your DS has no legally binding custody agreements with his ex? This does make things so much harder to enforce for him.

Will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

qcr


Title: Re: UBPDS asking me to contact his ex
Post by: Dibdob59 on October 08, 2013, 05:54:06 AM
Qcr

Thank you for your reply.  As you can see, I am struggling with appropriately supporting my son at present and am very conflicted on how to support him, as I know you are with your DD.

I had hoped for others to respond also as I know I get caught up with ruminating and my fearful projections of what will happen if I don't help.  But thank you once again and I am thinking of you and what you are going through

Dibdob


Title: Re: UBPDS asking me to contact his ex
Post by: qcarolr on October 09, 2013, 11:02:46 PM
Sometimes when my situation is very specific and complex I do not get many replies either. Can only guess what this is about. Know that there are many reading and with deep care for you.

Please keep us posted with how you are doing.

qcr