BPDFamily.com

Due to my job I've had to work and live away from my uBPD gf since Sept. For the past 3 weeks, I've spent all of Fri, Sat, and Sun with her before heading back to my place of work. She hasn't had any difficulties with this before - the week goes by so fast, we communicate regularly, and the weekends are fantastic (basically reliving the honeymoon phase each time I'm back). This week is her time of the month, and I saw her just 3 days ago. She has completely forgotten about all the close, loving times we shared as early as Sunday, and has suddenly started telling me things like "we never talk anymore", "it seems like we're growing apart", and "we never spend any time together anymore" - things we spent all weekend doing! She said the distance is so awful and she hates me for not being there for her. The sad thing is, is these are the same things she says every month around this time. I mean occasionally she'll have a BPD episode of anger, but it's nothing like this. She shouts many things at me, of similar nature to the time of month in Sept, and in Aug, and July, and always.

It seems every month around this time, her BPD is heightened significantly, fears of abandonment are heightened, and it's just a storm to deal with. Yesterday she told me she loved me and was just afraid I would "lose touch" with her and leave her for someone else, like her father did with her mother when she was a kid. I reassured her of this never happening (like I do every month), but within an hour she was going on about how much she now dislikes me, only an hour after saying she loves me and is afraid of losing me! I have been with other girls and know that time of month is tough, but it never resulted in these kinds of discussions. I have found myself, during times of incredible intimacy, saying things like "when we're apart for a few days, let's try and remember this very moment together", and she kisses me and says "yeah, I will. I love you". I say this because I know soon after I'm gone, she will not be able to remember these things. She said "we never do anything intimate like we used to", when we spent 4 hours Sunday night having the best intimate moments of our lives (her words).

I know I shouldn't be complaining, but it's like being on a sports team and every fourth game your teammate says "we're going to lose, I quit", when I say "no, let's try and win, and enjoy it". It's frustrating beyond belief to think that all those moments together are so hastily forgotten. She is not normal - normal people do not dissociate from a person they claim to love in a matter of minutes... and there's nothing I can do to prevent this besides being by her side 24-7.

its tough to go through. I have been on the rollercoaster ride for way to long. I found that any type of stress will cause them to go out of control. Mine was one minute madly in love with me and the next was kicking me out. with me standing there wondering what i did wrong. But every vacation, every christmas and birthday was ruined. and I found that it didnt get better the longer we was togther it got worse. BUt it usual always followed a moment of intimacy and deeep connection. It was alomst like she surrendred to being in love and then 5 minutes later she is fighting for her life from it.