BPDFamily.com

I'm really sick in bed, it's my birthday tomorrow and I miss him and want to take a stab at guessing his email address which I've deleted n telling him I just want to be cuddling up to him.  I'm writing this instead.

Gosh. Stupid flu and stupid BPD.

No contact no contact no contact. Mantra.

Feel better Accepting.


No contact... .

Is to help you heal.

Thanku. Sweet. I've not gotten better it's just got worse turning from a cold into a sinus infection which saw me visit the hospital two days ago. The stress of the BPD relationship always seems to manifest in other ways. I've noticed after recycling from him I'd often get sick.

It's why we need to move on to healthier pastures. There's just some moments your gusrd is lowered n your resolve isn't as tight.

I wonder where we'll all be in a year from now.

Welcome.

Sinus infections... .

Are hell.

I get those too.

Lots of fluids... .

And rest!

The stress... .

Affects the body... .

In many awful ways.

I felt physically sick... .

That time i was last in her house... .

My stomach... .

Was irritable as hell.

In bold.

Hopefully... .

Well on our way... .

Out of this nightmare.

If not... .

Well... .

We are here for one another... .

As fellow nons.

Use this time to read all you can to rest, stay hydrated, read about BPD and narcissism, journal, pray and write a list of of the ___ty things your ex has done to help you stay your ground during this very vulnerable time.

Being sick sucks but trust... .your ex will not make you feel better in the long run.

You're experiencing withdrawal feelings and this is quite common; especially when we're feeling lonely. But it will pass... .

Missing my ex sometimes felt like being kicked in the stomach by a horse... .the pain... .unbearable at times... .but then I'd write about the full truth... .and how he dropped me so easily to try out new supply... .and the lies upon lies... .going back would only soothe me for 4 seconds... .then it would be hell on earth again. Contacting them would be like taking tylenol for open heart surgery.

A year from now... .you'll be stronger, wiser, and feeling more empowered. But for now just stay in the moment... .

Feel better.

PS. I use a Neti Pot for my sinus infections and it works wonders for the nasal passages.

Spell

I really feel cared for, by total strangers... and support. Thank you. Really,  thank you. Posting here is so good in those weak moments. Already the desire to contact him has waned some and I've had some tears, taken deep breaths, read your replies and calmed myself from missing him. Those moments can be so strong.

Hey Accepting, you are cute when you are sick!  Truly.

What is Sookie LaLa?

I am at the tail end of a cold then sinus infection.  I had some limited contact for some email and phone calls starting a few weeks ago.  About 10 days ago I started to get ill.  No big episodes and the communication was quite reasonable, but the stress it brings on was distinct.  I am continually astounded at the negative side effects of caring for someone with such issues in their personality.

I hope you feel better soon.

  :) um I'm not even sure where sookie lala originates from. It's just if you're being all meh and a bit down n sookie then you're a sookie lala. I know he likely won't even recall my birth date being that it was all undeniably about him and his memory looped on a six week cycle or so... but I love birthdays and being sick for it wasn't my plan. It's all okay though... a new year to start over n discover new joys starts tomorrow. Kinda feels fresh. Plus I've already had cake haha. No more tears. More cake. Thank u for picking me up. No contact still upheld for another day.

To keep going (NC) is to keep knowing we are further ... .out to sea but to be out to sea is to be sailing, sure it gets rough, it gets cold, it gets hard... .but we're going to reach land one day, perhaps our paradise island where our love, our true love, not BPD, is waiting for our ship.

No more tears :) Keep on keeping on.