BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone, I just got off the phone with my lawyer again and we are working towards setting my date for filing, and my exit of the house.  I finally found the courage to get this moving.  I know this is best for my daughter and will be amazing for my brain/soul when this moves forward.  So much stress currently it is like my head is going to explode all day everyday.

Hang in there    This step takes a huge amount of courage.

It's going to be a real ride for the next few weeks, emotionally and psychologically. Take really, really good care of yourself as you adjust. It won't be easy, but it will get better. Whenever N/BPDx flares up, I remind myself that it used to be like that every day, every night. Now, it's tempered. S12 and I live in a safe, stable, loving home, and that's what matters.

You are giving your daughter a chance to grow up healthy, to have a stable home, a safe place to become who she is. And you'll be able to recover, too.  |iiii

This is the priceless gift you are giving your daughter and yourself. 

Did you L suggest that you take your daughter's birth certificate and social security card with you, if possible?

Yes yes they did and I am tracking them down now.

Good for you for taking the first steps. It's a hard road, and a rough journey, but it will get easier. 

I had been married for about a dozen years - with things slowly getting worse - when we had our child.  We had even gone to a reproductive clinic to seek assessment.  Silly me, I thought if we had a child together then she'd feel better and more positive.  Sadly, not.  What it did was make life more complicated and in a few years I had to accept the marriage was failing and imploding fast.  Once I realized that, I started researching and preparing on alternative strategies and goals.

I had to learn a lesson, that inaction is (1) a choice and (2) not a strategy.  It looks like you've accepted your situation and see the need to take action, as I did.  Despite it being a sad situation, you made an informed and positive choice for the right reasons.

Thank you foreverdad, I have read many of your posts and comments, and have come to respect your opinion so that means a lot to me.

Went to the lawyer on Friday, and made the payment, the unstoppable chain reaction has begun and the countdown is now 7 days.  I have so much to do but am trying to act as normal as I can.  How does one even get to sleep in a situation like this.

Benadryl!   :)

Seriously, make sure you are taking care of your sleep and eat well.  You are going to need the energy!

This is one of the toughest parts.The waiting. If you're having the SO served,be ready and expect backlash.Don't respond at all! I got a barrage of texts and phone calls after she was served. I've kept them as I have all texts that I've gotten since then. You'll feel anger,guilt,and sadness.It's all part of it.In time you get past that and it becomes more like a business transaction.

And remember that we're here for you 

People here really know what you're going through. The support here is awesome.

I came here just to see if there were any posts today since my chest is so tight from stress.  These were the exact responses I was hoping to see I feel somewhat better as the week ticks on and there is so so much to do.

We're not here as lawyers so we can't give legal advice.  But we have survived tough times, and if we're still here the operative words are "still surviving".  You too can and will survive, better days are ahead, though how much better is unknown at this point.  Our hard-won experience shared here is invaluable.  Learn from us how we survived and even prospered.  We've got a consensus of what generally works and what generally doesn't, what strategies help and which ones could be self-sabotaging.  In short, with education, insight, coping skills, communication skills and effective strategies you will be able to make more informed and more confident decisions.

Don't underestimate the huge psychological stuff that is happening for you now, too. The stress is awful, but big things are happening inside you. Over time, you'll start to see how all this works, the legal stuff, how your new self is going to be in the world after such a big shift in your psyche.

These relationships -- they bring us to our knees. This is not for the faint-hearted. Once you get through this, you'll realize you can survive anything.