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today I will have to see my ex at a work function, no way around it. We havent had any face to face contact in weeks. She didnt attempt contact 2 weeks ago and I Ignored it. I was having slight anxiety aout it last night but was doing much better. I came into work this morning and checked my personal email and found that I had a social page request from her. waiting on me. this was not fb I have her blocked.

But we do have mutal friends which it has caused a problem but when I opened f/b the first thing I see is a picture of her at bar smiling. one of our mutal friends posted it.

I smell an recycle attempt is coming.

Mitchell... .

You know she will attempt a re engagement.

Her disorder... .

Will compel this behavior.

Brace yourself.

Do not respond... .

When it is inbound.

Post on here instead.

We are here for you friend.

thank you> I did have to see her today at our work function. we both avoided each other some brief eye contact. But that was it. But i wont lie it has hurt me, It was a kick inmy stomach to have to see her today for two hours. I feel really weak right now.

Im very sad and if she contacts I feel i will cave in. after she sent that request on networking site. Which I know there is no telling with BPD why she did it today of all day but I am reeling in my mind.

Welcome.

The feeling of caving in... .

I know what you are referring to... .

I do.

I know how hard it is to resist.

Try and link that to how... .

She treated you in devaluation.

So that it can at least... .

Tone down that caving in feeling.

You have been through many... .

Rounds with her.

You know she will hurt you.

You have taken... .

Enough of her missiles... .

To last a lifetime.

Know that we stand with you Mitchell.

thnaks ironman. Yes, I have been through the ringer with her. and as I type I just got a text from her. So hear goes contact. I knew she would try. Of course It is killing me. not to repond.

Is it killing? Have you not improved significantly over the last few months?

You have? Right :)?

yes in these months I have came along way. never thought I would have made it this far. But I still feel like I love her and it really pulls at my heart when she does this junk.

It almost like Im the one doing something wrong when I ignore her.

She sent 3 texts teling how nice I looked and I seemed like Iwas doing well. Then I didnt hear any more from her. I would lie and say I dindt miss her and the few good times. but I do. I miss her and the fun we did have, I miss the loss of future dreams. But the relaity is that it would have been a misrable life with her. Every few weeks and I would have to go through this with her. I know it becasue I have did for nearly 3 years.

I have to becareful not to let fanatsy get confused with reality.

God, that's so painful.  If I had to be at an actual work function with my ex, I wouldn't go.  Tomorrow I am going to table at a public event that my co-op is putting on as a board member.  I hope he doesn't show- and I've already warned the board members I will have to leave momentarily if he shows up.  There is just no way that I can put myself in that position.