|
Title: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: hopealways on October 21, 2013, 12:06:20 PM When I was with my BPDex, I decided to make a list of her positives and her negatives. As I suspected, the positives were few: gorgeous, great chemistry - actually that was it. The negatives went on and on and on: liar, no remorse, no respect, irresponsible, cruel, vicious, physically abusive, verbally abusive, taker, uses people, doesn't care about my interests, emotionally unavailable, moody, empty, irrational, impulsive, doesn't include me in activities with friends etc etc. WOW! Just writing this again makes me wonder What the heck was I doing with her? And the negatives are REALLY NEGATIVE, any one of which should make you run for the hills, but she had all of these and more and I STILL thought she was God's gift to me.
Point being, we need to realize that they were not all we made them out to be, not even close. We idolized them because they made us feel great. But we need to first make ourselves feel great because we are great. IF WE WERE NOT GREAT, THE BPD WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN US. They choose the givers, the pleasers, the ones with the heart of gold, the ones that are caring, have patience and compassion. So actually they have every reason to idolize US - it is truly their loss my friends, and our gain for being out of it. MY BPDex's best female friend told me that breaking up with her was the "right decision" and if I was to tell her to "F*CK off" and never want to see her again, she would totally agree with me." Even she knows. Love you all my friends, thanks for your support. Believe in yourself! Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: Turkish on October 21, 2013, 12:19:55 PM When I was with my BPDex, I decided to make a list of her positives and her negatives. As I suspected, the positives were few: gorgeous, great chemistry - actually that was it. The negatives went on and on and on: liar, no remorse, no respect, irresponsible, cruel, vicious, physically abusive, verbally abusive, taker, uses people, doesn't care about my interests, emotionally unavailable, moody, empty, irrational, impulsive, doesn't include me in activities with friends etc etc. WOW! Just writing this again makes me wonder What the heck was I doing with her? And the negatives are REALLY NEGATIVE, any one of which should make you run for the hills, but she had all of these and more and I STILL thought she was God's gift to me. Point being, we need to realize that they were not all we made them out to be, not even close. We idolized them because they made us feel great. But we need to first make ourselves feel great because we are great. IF WE WERE NOT GREAT, THE BPD WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN US. They choose the givers, the pleasers, the ones with the heart of gold, the ones that are caring, have patience and compassion. So actually they have every reason to idolize US - it is truly their loss my friends, and our gain for being out of it. Love you all my friends, thanks for your support. Believe in yourself! That's awesome, and you are right. Thanks... . Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: Learning2Thrive on October 21, 2013, 12:27:33 PM Excerpt Point being, we need to realize that they were not all we made them out to be, not even close. We idolized them because they made us feel great. But we need to first make ourselves feel great because we are great. IF WE WERE NOT GREAT, THE BPD WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN US. They choose the givers, the pleasers, the ones with the heart of gold, the ones that are caring, have patience and compassion. So actually they have every reason to idolize US - it is truly their loss my friends, and our gain for being out of it. Love you all my friends, thanks for your support. Believe in yourself! YES! Thank you Hopealways! We are good. Our hearts are good and want the best for everyone else. WE just need to believe WE are good in and of ourselves and we deserve our own love and respect. Love yourself! Believe in yourself! Respect yourself! I'm pretty sure this is what we all need to do FIRST... .and then... .when we are healthy and whole in and of ourselves... .then we will find acceptance and peace with ourselves (and indifference to the exBPD) and WE will have the opportunity to have a true, healthy, love-filled, reciprocal, adult relationship. Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: hopealways on October 21, 2013, 12:30:18 PM "true, healthy, love-filled, reciprocal, adult relationship."
These words are very precise and true. This is such a positive thread I love it! Hope it brings positive vibes to you all so we can start this week on a great note! Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: Ironmanrises on October 21, 2013, 12:45:05 PM Hopealways... .
Like your name states... . A positive thread! You are able to self reflect... . The very difference... . That separates... . The pwBPD... . And the non. A difference... . As vast... . As the Sun is... . From its closest neighbor star... . Alpha Centauri. Literally. Our lack of self love... . Is what made us... . Fall for the pwBPD. When I was with my BPDex, I decided to make a list of her positives and her negatives. As I suspected, the positives were few: gorgeous, great chemistry - actually that was it. The negatives went on and on and on: liar, no remorse, no respect, irresponsible, cruel, vicious, physically abusive, verbally abusive, taker, uses people, doesn't care about my interests, emotionally unavailable, moody, empty, irrational, impulsive, doesn't include me in activities with friends etc etc. WOW! Just writing this again makes me wonder What the heck was I doing with her? And the negatives are REALLY NEGATIVE, any one of which should make you run for the hills, but she had all of these and more and I STILL thought she was God's gift to me. Point being, we need to realize that they were not all we made them out to be, not even close. We idolized them because they made us feel great. But we need to first make ourselves feel great because we are great. IF WE WERE NOT GREAT, THE BPD WOULD NOT HAVE CHOSEN US. They choose the givers, the pleasers, the ones with the heart of gold, the ones that are caring, have patience and compassion. So actually they have every reason to idolize US - it is truly their loss my friends, and our gain for being out of it. MY BPDex's best female friend told me that breaking up with her was the "right decision" and if I was to tell her to "F*CK off" and never want to see her again, she would totally agree with me." Even she knows. Love you all my friends, thanks for your support. Believe in yourself! In italics/underlined. Spot on. That is the common... . Flaw... . That all of us... . You... . Me... . All have. We need to love ourselves... . First. Self love. I am currently... . Repairing that. It is not easy... . To repair. But it is needed... . For me to fully heal. As is... . For all of you too. Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: hopealways on October 21, 2013, 12:50:55 PM You're an amazing person Ironmanfalls... .I look forward to the day, very soon, that you will change your screen name to Ironmanrises! You deserve an amazing woman, and she is closer than you think. After this experience, and your healing, you will love yourself and attract positive people in your life.
Title: Re: Let's face it, we idolized them way more than they deserved Post by: Ironmanrises on October 21, 2013, 01:01:09 PM You as well... .
Hopealways. You as well... . My friend. Kind words as always. Gratitude. |