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Title: Still trying to figure out what the trigger was :( Post by: DownandOut on October 22, 2013, 11:03:15 AM My constant ruminating over the relationship has obviously brought up more questions than answers. One of the questions I keep asking myself is what triggered her and when did the relationship become so real that she had to recoil. During Round 3 we were in a LDR and initially she would come to my city every other weekend and the times were amazing. She spent time with my family, my friends and myself and we had an unbelievable time and basically fell in love all over again. Then, I started going to her city and spending time with her family (her dad called me son), friends and at that point she started to slowly detach from me. When I returned home she apologized for being distant. We talked about it in depth because I felt communication was very important in our relationship and after that discussion everything was fine. I would like to note that the night before I went to her city, she noticed that I had liked a picture on social media of a family friend (the picture was a mostly harmless picture of the woman in somewhat sexy jogging clothes and her running time for a two-mile run). My uBPDexgf flipped but we worked it out and although I knew it bothered her I promised to refrain from doing anything like that in the future if it upset her and promised that I would NEVER hurt her. She told me that if it didn't work out with me she was thinking about becoming a nun. Again, I reassured her she was my one and only (100% true from the heart) and everything seemed fine.
I would like to hear some opinions as to what the trigger was... .the closeness to the family or the perceived infidelity or flirting? Title: Re: Still trying to figure out what the trigger was :( Post by: Ironmanrises on October 22, 2013, 11:08:49 AM The trigger was... .
You got close to her... . (emotionally) And vice versa... . And that is when... . Devaluation begins. It is inevitable... . Unfortunately. It was no different for me. I experienced that... . In 2 rounds. Same outcome... . In the discard... . She left... . Regardless. You mentioned... . "It felt like we were falling in love all over again... ." That is idealization. I know it hurts. Believe me... . I do. Keep posting on here. Hang in there. Title: Re: Still trying to figure out what the trigger was :( Post by: Turkish on October 22, 2013, 11:35:44 AM My constant ruminating over the relationship has obviously brought up more questions than answers. One of the questions I keep asking myself is what triggered her and when did the relationship become so real that she had to recoil. During Round 3 we were in a LDR and initially she would come to my city every other weekend and the times were amazing. She spent time with my family, my friends and myself and we had an unbelievable time and basically fell in love all over again. Then, I started going to her city and spending time with her family (her dad called me son), friends and at that point she started to slowly detach from me. When I returned home she apologized for being distant. We talked about it in depth because I felt communication was very important in our relationship and after that discussion everything was fine. I would like to note that the night before I went to her city, she noticed that I had liked a picture on social media of a family friend (the picture was a mostly harmless picture of the woman in somewhat sexy jogging clothes and her running time for a two-mile run). My uBPDexgf flipped but we worked it out and although I knew it bothered her I promised to refrain from doing anything like that in the future if it upset her and promised that I would NEVER hurt her. She told me that if it didn't work out with me she was thinking about becoming a nun. Again, I reassured her she was my one and only (100% true from the heart) and everything seemed fine. I would like to hear some opinions as to what the trigger was... .the closeness to the family or the perceived infidelity or flirting? Probably it. Mine thinks that everyone cheats eventually. Trusts no one, especially men. Like a good conspiracy theory, eventually something confirms it in their minds, despite it not being true. Title: Re: Still trying to figure out what the trigger was :( Post by: Learning_curve74 on October 22, 2013, 12:11:17 PM DownandOut, eventually YOU became the trigger. You didn't have to do anything special except become too close, too intimate, too important to her. That is why it is almost inevitable what happened to you and everybody else here.
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