BPDFamily.com

I've been reading a ton here and learning a lot very quickly.  The tools provided to better interact with pwPBD are a revelation.  There are also plenty of threads started in which people recount their interactions and others provide advice on how to better respond.  I can see myself partaking in plenty of those threads and starting a few of my own.

That being said, it's a world of difference interacting on a message board vs. face-to-face in real time.  On a message board, I have time to compose my thoughts and respond.  In a conversation, you have to be a quick thinker.  And I'll be honest: My BPDw is a *much* quicker thinker than I am when it comes to discussing something, let alone in an argument.

What is the best way to practice scenarios with pwBPD in which you have that real-time element?  To be effective, you really need someone to do it with since you really don't know what the other person is going to say, forcing that quick thinking skill.  Should I use my CBT marriage counselor who is familiar with my wife?  Are there local BPD support groups whose members do such role playing exercises?  Are there such services at this site?

I have found individual counseling\therapy works little.

It is not live training, but it does provide some insight.

If I go into my T and say this situation happened and I acted this way... .  My T then was able to help me find ways to handle to situation better the time.

I have found MC does not help you BPD spouse and makes it worse in some ways.   The one thing it does for me is helps me gauge if things are better then they were 6 months ago. 

There is really no real-time things I can think of.

Thanks for the tip.  Our MC is the one who diagnosed her as BPD, so he may have some helpful insight and we've done a few small role-playing sessions without my wife present.  But he's not cheap, either

Someone my speak up and have a different opinion then me, but this T should be someone different than you MC.   Also is you wife in her own T?   

Additionally if money is a issue and say you could have 4 session person month.

Do the following?

2 sessions for your wife

1 for you

1 in MC.

Although MC has worked well for me in some ways, it is more for me than the marriage.

In my case my wifes T made the diagnose,  our MC knows about the diagnose, I have yet to be officially told of the diagnose.   I have yet been permitted to discuss the BPD with my wife.

 

Practicing in real-time... .that sounds like a great idea.  To improve a skill, it always helps to have opportunities to practice in a consequence-free environment, and I'm sure we all understand that our actual people with BPD do not provide a consequence-free environment.   So the idea of using your therapist to role-play is probably your best bet. 

If you knew other nons in your area, I suppose you could practice with them in-person for free... .but the therapist sounds more likely, albeit more expensive.  Cheers!