BPDFamily.com

Maybe things are only bad right now because I am trying to detach. I try to go about my day and do what I need to do and give myself some time, although I am still foaming with anxiety when I do these things. She is going to visit Oregon in November. She has some friends there. Clearly she doesn't feel like doing any chores lately, because she just reams me for not doing it even though she keeps saying she is going to do it. If she didn't say that, I would have done the stuff by now. She seems to think I have so much more free time than her because she gets off work later and her schedule is more random. Simply not the case, in so many ways. I can barely keep up with my own schedule let alone all her requests. I start to think that I deserve it and I'm a terrible boyfriend. Then I realize that I know people who are married and they are very busy. They respect each others schedules and needs and there is no blame or raging about it. They can go out and have a blast and maybe even spend the night at a friends without having any problems, because they trust each other.

Anyways, I digress from my main point, which is that I hope she cheats on me in Oregon. Her personality is disgusting. I hope she loves it up there and actually sticks to her claims of leaving whether I'm ready to go or not. She can maintain restraint around friends that she constantly talks smack on, but not with me. I'm beginning to think she could be somewhere in the antisocial personality spectrum. Super detailed and serious convo the other day about how she wants to kill someone she has painted black (and with some good reasons to be fair) and that she could get away with it.

Then if I end things, I have worry about my belongings and personal well being ending up smashed against a wall or taken out and dumped in the trash. What can I do? Get a storage unit and start sleeping on my parents couch? I think I heard somewhere that psychological abuse is actually illegal in France.