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Children, Parents, or Relatives with BPD => Son, Daughter or Son/Daughter In-law with BPD => Topic started by: Hope/peace on October 26, 2013, 10:22:07 PM



Title: mother of a BPD
Post by: Hope/peace on October 26, 2013, 10:22:07 PM
I feel so alone dealing with this illness. No one gets it. Only those who I live with. Everyone feels we are making up what we are going through especially when they see him . I love him so dearly and I wish I could change things for him

So broken hearted



Title: Re: mother of a BPD
Post by: thisyoungdad on October 27, 2013, 01:51:13 AM
HI Hope/Peace,

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this with your son. For me the person I have struggled to deal with is my ex wife, however I have a daughter and I can not imagine how much harder it would be if it were my beloved child. So although I personally can not speak to your situation however I am sure there are many who can. I do know that I have found a great deal of support and comfort coming here, reading that I am not alone and having a safe place to pour my heart out. I hope that you can find that same thing here and believe if you stick around a little you will find wonderful, supportive people.


Title: Re: mother of a BPD
Post by: Healing4Ever on October 27, 2013, 06:14:03 AM
I'm sorry to hear you are struggling.  BPD and similar behaviors, especially in our children, are devastating.  

I have dealt with BPD in my Mom, my ex, and behaviors are surfacing in my DD17.  I relate whole-heartedly in all 3 situations to others not seeing the disorder.  pwBPD in my life for the most part know how to "put on a good face" *extremely* well.  To this day, only me and my kids have seen the dark side of my uBPDex.  (except for once in therapy - he let himself rage at me, which was very scary but I was grateful it was in front of the therapist.  The therapist saw everything much differently after that).  It can be very difficult to get the validation we all seek to make sense of what is going on when we have pwBPD in our lives.  I've found that validation is *essential* to grounding ourselves in reality so that we can start taking steps forward.

I have been tapping into the local mental health resources with my DD17 - our local ER has a great mental health set-up for emergencies, and we're booked in to see a psychiatrist who specializes in adolescents in November. Counselling is also starting next week for her.  Have you been able to get some professional support for either you or your son?

Hang in there, keep searching for answers to help you and your son, and keep posting here!  Can you tell us more of your story?  As mentioned, these boards are really great, especially if you post so you can get feedback and support,


H4E