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Got back into town with my S3 after leaving with him for my birthday weekend. Didn't want to be at home. She called me on my bday. I was on the other line, so it went to voice mail. I called her back, of course, because I would never not allow her to talk to our son. Before I called her back, I listened to the partial voice mail. She was singing me happy birthday. Unbelievable. But I know she did it to make herself feel better. The messed up thing in my head is I would have been hurt either way if she acknowledged it or not. That's me. Funny, but S3 was busy with his uncle and said he didn't want to talk to her. Brat! Heh. She did call that evening and talked to him though.

AFter I got back, she said she wanted to give me a hug, for my birthday. I said no. The fact that she didn't even try past that (kind of a shrug... .she knew I probably wouldn't allow it anyway) further confirms that she doesn't love me.

She was playing with the kids, so I checked the computer. Found a message to herself/me typed out in W, which wasn't open... .but still running: "I’m sorry that I could not make you happy. I’m sorry that I kill your happiness of been (sic) with me. As I looked through our pictures, I could see your bored some and unhappiness. From the bottom of my heart I truly wish that you find the happiness you deserve. I will always be grateful for the children WE have together, for caring and loving me. I’m sorry I could not be better."

She's right... .in some ways I triggered her lack of self worth. Almost thinking about answering this one. It's so blatant that she doesn't care if I find it. She probably wants me to so we can talk. Not sure... .Or should I just keep up the NC/NT insofar as it doesn't reflect the day to day activities, or in relation to our kids, as long as she is still in my house.

Turkish,

The further you distance yourself from her, the more attempts of this you will see.  This is just like some of your previous posts of her behaviors that were her attempt to get comfort from you and soothe herself.

Again, not about a happy b-day to you... .an opportunity for her to see that you will still validate and connect with her/be her safety net/soothe her.

I'm sorry for the struggle.  You should probably expect to see more and more of this.  ESPECIALLY if you don't give in and connect with her on any level.  Then she will probably up the anti in tactic and frequency in her desperate panic.  All predictable... .and sad.

It's harder with her living there, and there is no way around that because she is who she is.  

Thanks for your support and wisdom, Lady31. I am so tempted to write out something short in response... .like take a look at our two family photos. The one with HER smiling when our S was 6 months... .then the more recent one of the four of us... .with HER having barely a forced smile. Because she was raging at me because I changed our son's pants before we left for the studio... .when no pictures of the kids showed their legs. Then tell me who's unhappy? I sent the friend the message and he said "gaslighting" because while she is correct I was unhappy, it was she who was more unhappy, and said it to my face back in May... .and made a list of demands to make her happy which I didn't think were realistic as the parents of two small children... .  then the quick downward spiral to now.

Sat. night when she talked to our son on the phone, she started telling me about the day with our daughter, then describing things like a normal conversation. I quickly ended it and said goodbye. I know as a co-parent I will have to have those conversations later, like the day to day stuff and us vis-a-vis our kids, but not now. We might likely be some form of "friends," but not now. Glad I blocked her on FB, even though I am missing seeing even the inane things she posts, in-between the posts of kid pics. But I have more than enough of them myself, so no big loss. Not until she's gone and I start the long road to healing and dealing with it  can I feel I could have anywhere near a normal conversation with her. And I know, as many have said here, that she will fall back on me as an emotional support when things go south with new guys. I am already role playing the recycling in my head and the things I will say to keep those boundaries up. Unless it's putting the kids in danger (from them or her instability... .but I know she will call me, as she has before even before things ended), I am not that person anymore. No. Freaking. Way. 

She asked to go out to a party after we (actually me, she stays at the house and hands out candy) take the kids trick or treating. *sigh*

Can't. Handle. Adulthood and responsibility.