BPDFamily.com

I recognize that this board isn't just about lamenting, it is about supporting one another. I am trying to do that, really feeling like I was getting better so I can be someone who helped and sent out hugs to others in their journey.

Really, today. After a dream last night about him. (Not a good one. He was totally moved on in the dream.) I got my day started with a business meeting. A yet to be erased white board had some stuff on it. Did his name have to be the first thing on the list? Really?

I'm actually very curious about the circumstances of finding his name on the whiteboard. Do you work with him? Did it just happen to be his first name? Or last name? or both? The reason I ask is because I am a very spiritual person and feel very in tune with the universe and I constantly have things like that happen to me with regard to my uBPDexgf. I find it very interesting that you had a dream about him and then his name, as you say, is the first thing on the whiteboard. I truly believe that we are connected to this universe in very strange ways and things like that are not coincidences. I could literally sit here for hours and describe to you similar things that have happened to me and I'd like to share with you how I feel about it. Essentially, I believe that my uBPDexgf was, in fact, someone destined to be in my life, for better or worse. The way we got together and began our relationship shouldn't have happened but for some very unique occurrences that were not planned. Thus, I believe that we are kindred spirits, but in this life the mental illness of BPD causes us to be apart from one another. In another life, everything might have been perfect. Watch the movie Cloud Atlas and you'll understand what I'm talking about.

I hear ya. I've been rolling along for a couple of weeks and then on Saturday I attended a Halloween Party I took her to last year. She has been haunting me since!   

Dreams have been a good indicator for me.  I had a lot of dreams with her in them initially; although the situations were all different, in them she was always with someone else and ignoring me.  Then I went through a stage where I didn't dream at all, and recently I've been dreaming a lot again, usually not about her, but she made an appearance a few nights ago, friendly and cordial, and it was pleasant.  Could have been a dream-based recycle attempt (crafty that girl), but I'm considering it detachment progress.  Watch for that as you heal.

I'm dreading next week: it will mark a year that we first met. We broke up four months ago. I really thought that if we could make it a year we'd be in the clear. But we didn't.  :'( So this fall season has been a serious bummer. Reminders all around that this time last year I was falling in love.