BPDFamily.com

Hi everyone,

I was just staring at my monitor, when I saw the following thread coming up: 'BPD reversal'.

It triggered me. I checked it, but unfortunately I misinterpreted the title.

Let's explain myself: I sometimes have this feeling of guilt. Years ago, when I learned about BPD, I learned about everything. From the genetics to the development factors in early youth. And thus how Borderline develops.

'develops' is the keyword there!

To this very day, I feel like I've seen the development and true manifestation of Borderline years and years ago. I tried to help, tried to arrange help... .it failed. I am almost certain that I saw the development from early stages to a true Borderliner. And it worried the crap out of me.

I really don't feel I imagined it.

Did I fail? Could I have actually reversed the process? Could something or someone else have done that? Or was the damage truly already done, and couldn't the process be stopped anymore? Was fate already sealed by a combination of genetics and early youth?

I read literature, but I couldn't find anything on this specific topic... .

I think like most things in life if one has a need for change it is an inside job and a very personal decision. For example you cannot "make" an alcoholic stop drinking as much as you know it is not good for them and how much better you "know" they could be for stopping it. True change does not happen until they "want" it. I mean "really want it". At least this has been true for me.

So did you fail? No I don't think so. You did the best you could with what you had to work with.

For me there is so much to read and absorb about PD out there in the world that "it" at times can be a head spinning mass of information. I just try to keep it simple today. She had it. I experienced it. I did the best I could with it. That just was not enough. I am here now.

I am unfortunately not talking about the BPD phase :-(

What makes me feel guilty is that I really think I saw the transition phase. And I am not talking about the push-pull etc. cycles. That happened much, much, much later.

I'm referring to the 'gradual' development of the illness itself. Could I have reversed that development?

I do not know with certainty. The consensus of the literature seems to indicate the onset is initiated very early in the formative years of ones life. As they become older the the ideas and behaviors adopted then become cemented in the defensive aspects of the maturing personality to wax and wane in accordance with the circumstances being experienced at any given time. Some say the longer without treatment the more intractable the issue.

Like I said, for me, that all was then. I am here now.