BPDFamily.com

So me and my exGF wBPD have been broken up for about 5 months now.  After 3 years I decided it was time and best to move on from her. Now the moment everyone dreads after a break up has arrived for me.  Thanks to good old facebook I see that my ex now has a new man in her life, looks like they’ve been dating for about a month or so now.  Of course when I saw this I instantly felt a pit in my stomach and have been pretty blue today. Even though I know she had issues I couldn’t deal with any longer and I felt I did what was best for me its still so hard seeing her with someone else.  I know these emotions will pass soon hopefully and it may even help to be the final thing which allows me to be over her completely!

Its just funny bc I see her in the same pattern and potentially making the same mistakes she did at the beginning of our relationship.  Shes the type that needs someone and is getting involved again quickly and that will likely lead to same issues we had.  Anyway I just wanted to express some emotion as I deal with this, ive been good in general and will continue to try and better myself.  Just a rough moment for now 

That's tough, not looking forward to that.

My (at the time un diagnosed) dBPDexgf and I recycled lots.

On 1 break up, was triggered when I put my phone in my locker at work for 2 hours so I didn't get her text right away. She had her locks changed by the end of my 8 hour shift, which she had to close her retail store early to do. Anyways, the next morning she texts me "my bed was not empty last night (my name). I have moved on"

We were back together 2 days later, her text was true.

The need to be not alone was what drove it, I believe.

Much like yours with a bf so fast.

I quickly deactivated my Facebook account right after he discarded me.  To see ANYTHING that could remind me of him would have literally destroyed what was left of me. 

Stay strong my friend, and know that the cycle will repeat itself... .

|iiii

I can relate, jalbright.  My ex has never been without a sex partner.  She had many before me, many while married to me, and many since discarding me.  I lasted 23 years of marriage with her, but it was never smooth sailing.  The last 12 years she has been unfaithful many times. 

After a brief recycle attempt with me (when her other romance fell apart) last spring she is now with a new guy.  She met him while trying to rekindle with me. 

I de-activated my personal facebook over a year ago.  I do not want to see any signs of her and her boy toy; it kills me that she seems to be having fun, enjoying her new guy... .I am sure her fb page has pics.  I am not even remotely tempted to look.  I know that would be a stab in the heart.  How can she just move on after a 25 year relationship with me?  Three kids, several homes, hundreds of significant life milestones together?  And she seems to have just slipped me off like an old shoe and slid into a new one. 

I did hear from a friend that my ex and her new boy toy have had a fight, however.  Who knows how that relationship will pan out... .  Maybe she has found the one man, after trying out hundreds of others in her 47 years, who will truly fulfill her.  God knows I tried

Fiddle

I know it's painful to see your ex with someone else... .especially for the first time.  Even though you made the decision that was best for you it doesn't make it any easier. 

I got to have that moment we all dread BEFORE it was over.  The image of the two of them sitting close together on the couch is firmly etched in my mind.  He had his arm around her and she had one of her hands on his thigh.  With the other hand she was pointing a finger at me while screaming at the top of her lungs.  Every time I play that scene over again in my mind, it feels like an elevator full of despair has dropped from my head down to the pit of my stomach.  It's awful!

Block, and you won't see anything, even her comments on mutual friends' pages. The other way around, too. If you have a mutual friend on whose page you think pics of her might be posted, block them, too. I blocked mine last week. She still doesn't know... .I will miss seeing her post pics of the kids, but I tired of her posting the usual FB affirmations about moving on, being strong and brave (to leave), as if she were a battered wife struggling to get a new life. It's the freaking opposite if anything.

Don't look man.  Just don't.

But while you're not looking, rest assured he is now tolerating all the crap you wouldn't.  And also, look very hard at what prompted you to look; I've looked, up until I decided to let it go, stop living in the past and move on.  It's a process, and learning along the way is the gift our borderline gave us.