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trying to pack the garage for my move and this song came on my itunes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5SyDNiufo0 (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x5SyDNiufo0)

Promises

Clapton

I don't care if you never come home,

I don't mind if you just keep on

Rowing away on a distant sea,

'Cause I don't love you and you don't love me.

You cause a commotion when you come to town;

You give 'em a smile and they melt.

Having lovers and friends is all good and fine,

But I don't like yours and you don't like mine. (she actually Loved my friends and I hers)

La la, la la la la la.

La la, la la la la la.

I don't care what you do at night,

Oh, and I don't care how you get your delights.

I'm gonna leave you alone, I'll just let it be,

I don't love you and you don't love me.

I got a problem. Can you relate?

I got a woman calling love hate.

We made a vow we'd always be friends.

How could we know that promises end?

La la, la la la la la.

La la, la la la la la.

I tried to love you for years upon years,

You refuse to take me for real.

It's time you saw what I want you to see,

And I'd still love you if you'd just love me.

I got a problem. Can you relate?

I got a woman calling love hate.

We made a vow we'd always be friends.

How could we know that promises end?

La la, la la la la la.

La la, la la la la la.

La la, la la la la la.

La la, la la la la la.


This song kills me right now especially the refrain and last verse. It takes me back to one of our first counseling sessions when the therapist told "Lois", "All 'Clark' wants to do is Love you, but you have to let him." This same therapist gave me the greatest compliment of my life after a few sessions saying he has never met someone more unapologetically themselves than me (not feeling like myself right now  lol), and in hindsight I realize that when "Lois" was 40 minutes late to a session and he had me alone in the office he was gently asking me how much more I could take something I heard a lot from family and friends towards the end.

Hating what I'm feeling right now but I know its the process. . .

Hey there,

Hang in there! Haven't heard your story but just wanted to give you my support. I can Realtek to your therapist story.

"It's time you saw what I want you to see". Excellent perfection. This tune has and still does actually make me feel stronger and pure and decent and for real. I don't care where she goes. I don't care how she does it. I gave what I have. I deserve to get what I give. I did my bit. "And I'd still love you if you would just love me". Sustainable love is a two way street. Simple. End of that song.

Monopolize away, MK (if I may call you that).

A friend of mine, who went through a very similar situation to mine 15 years ago said the Don Henly song The Heart of the Matter really resonated with him. This is, of course, after he had moved past the anger stage. And he said he was angry in the beginning for some time... .VERY angry. It doesn;t seem to describe a BPD relationship, but I cried a lot over this song last month. I am at acceptance and periodic depression now... .I had to leave with my kids from the zoo early because I just couldn't stand seeing so many intact families around me. She took off out of town. Moving Day is still in the future for her.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=ncF6q3QeltU

"The Heart Of The Matter"

I got the call today, I didn't wanna hear

But I knew that it would come

An old true friend of ours was talkin' on the phone

She said you found someone

And I thought of all the bad luck,

And the struggles we went through

And how I lost me and you lost you

What are these voices outside love's open door

Make us throw off our contentment

And beg for something more?

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you sometimes

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I knew, I'm learning again

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

These times are so uncertain

There's a yearning undefined

... .People filled with rage

We all need a little tenderness

How can love survive in such a graceless age

The trust and self-assurance that can lead to happiness

They're the very things we kill, I guess

Pride and competition cannot fill these empty arms

And the work I put between us,

Doesn't keep me warm

I'm learning to live without you now

But I miss you, Baby

The more I know, the less I understand

All the things I thought I figured out, I have to learn again

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

But everything changes

And my friends seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

There are people in your life who've come and gone

They let you down and hurt your pride

Better put it all behind you; life goes on

You keep carrin' that anger, it'll eat you inside

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

But my will gets weak

And my thoughts seem to scatter

But I think it's about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

I've been tryin' to get down to the Heart of the Matter

Because the flesh will get weak

And the ashes will scatter

So I'm thinkin' about forgiveness

Forgiveness

Even if, even if you don't love me anymore

Yes great tunes gentlemen. Thank you.

And yes anger works for a time. I went through mine... .oh my did I. What I found after a time was the flames of anger burn so very hot and can become all consuming and possibly self immolating. BUT it had its place in time. Please be careful with yourself and others when waltzing with fire.

Thank You all.