BPDFamily.com

I just get divorced and everything seemed to be fine. But then, I got a discount for alimony in my pay check.   

My BPDxw used my filed divorce demand and change all the facts, claiming that I was the abuser and the negligent, in order to obtain alimony for her (we didn’t have children); because she claims, that due her condition (diagnosed with a personality disorder and depression), she cannot work. She requested to be assessed by a court psychiatrist in order to verify her condition and inability to work.

Any help?

Being diagnosed with a PD is no excuse not to work.  Millions of messed up people work.

I can't imagine you weren't notified in advance?  What are the terms of the decision?  Short term, indefinite or what?  Could she have falsified some paperwork?  You were married for only about 7 years, hard to see how you would be held so responsible after a medium length marriage.

Is this short term, as in for a certain number of months or years?  However, it looks like this could be one of the less common situations where a person pleads handicap or being disabled.  That's one of the reasons we suggest caution and to mention only the behaviors and not any presumptions of a diagnosis.  If there were no children then maybe there wasn't as much need to mention why when you were getting divorced?

If there is an appeal time frame, then you need to appeal.  Now it the time to seek legal consultations with family law attorneys before any appeal period runs out.  The longer it is in effect, the harder it is to get it undone.  And living in a third world country may make it harder to get a measure of justice.

Perhaps another way to look at it is this, does 7 years of marriage make you responsible for her?  She was already in her mid to late twenties when you married, right?  PDs don't come out of nowhere, likely there was some indications of it long before.  Her PDs may have caused the end of the marriage but marriage to you didn't necessarily cause her PDs.

For example, is she claiming her affairs are your fault too?  You don't pick and choose to make claims.

Also, surely others saw her behaviors independent of you.  Problem is, so much comes down to "he said, she said" and how is a judge, evaluator or even a psychiatrist to know how much is true and how much isn't?

Notice I haven't referenced your time together before marriage.  In most cases those years spent courting her shouldn't count against you.  So probably best to stick to 6-7 as the legal figures, not double that.

Thanks ForeverDad,

The alimony is temporary, this process just started. She put another notification address so I had to go to court to know the allegations. 

She did not present any diagnosis, only her medical appointments and payments receipts; she is requesting a diagnosis by court psychiatrist, I guess to confirm her supposed disability and blame me for that.

She is highly functional, but she will try to convince anyone, court psychiatrist included, that she isn't.

In my divorce we state that because we wanted to put a precedent in order to protect me for future lies (but, I guess, it didn’t work).

She had not mentioned her affairs.

Any suggestions for the process?

Thanks again.

She presented also her medical prescription.

So is all that has happened that she filed for it and no action has occurred yet, or has your paycheck already had deductions applied?

If it's just been filed and no action taken yet, then yes, do file a response.  If you used a lawyer for the divorce, then make sure your response is appropriate and thorough.  If you didn't use a lawyer, then seek some legal consultations to determine what to do to nip this in the bud.  You don't want to make an inadequate response or one that exposes you to additional claims.

As has been noted here, there is nothing to prevent people from making all sorts of ridiculous, unwarranted or inflated demands, whether they get them is a totally different matter.

The discount has being applied (but temporary until the judge resolve). I am using the same lawyer from the divorce.

It's really shameful how BPDs use the legal system! All their lies and irrational claims and demands 

And the nightmare continues  :'(