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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Conflicted About Continuing, Divorcing/Custody, Co-parenting => Topic started by: Forestaken on November 07, 2013, 09:13:59 AM



Title: What if SHE leaves the country (alimony topic ~ no custody)
Post by: Forestaken on November 07, 2013, 09:13:59 AM
My uBPD+dOCD s2bx is from a wealthy Mexican family

Her expenses will be based on her living expenses here in the United States

I will be paying her alimony

What happens if she moves back to Mexico and lives rent-free?

Can I get a reduction?


Title: Re: What if SHE leaves the country (alimony topic ~ no custody)
Post by: ForeverDad on November 07, 2013, 01:59:16 PM
I would hope it would qualify as a "Change in Circumstances" though maybe not.  Alimony usually isn't handled the same as child support.  If you do have to do it, then get a clause added to the order and all subsequent orders that her income, expenses and local living standards would be determining factors. (And hope she doesn't move to upscale Manhattan.)  But beware, even if she moved back home, nothing's to prevent her from paying 'rent' and getting most of it back in a kickback.

Would this be lifetime alimony or limited to a certain number of years?

As Exonerated mentioned here, there's a book or song titled, "All my exes live in Texas".  Texas is one of the less unreasonable alimony states.


Title: Re: What if SHE leaves the country (alimony topic ~ no custody)
Post by: livednlearned on November 09, 2013, 01:33:08 PM
My uBPD+dOCD s2bx is from a wealthy Mexican family

Her expenses will be based on her living expenses here in the United States

I will be paying her alimony

What happens if she moves back to Mexico and lives rent-free?

Can I get a reduction?

I'm guessing you do not having anything spelled out about this in your divorce order? Mine says if I move in with someone or get married, alimony is off the table. Mine also says if I get an increase in salary, alimony goes down. If you were concerned that she moved back to Mexico where the cost of living is lower, I think you would need to get that into the order. And show that her new cost of living is xyz.

You can always try to show a change of circumstance, but like FD says, that is a tip off that she needs to change her game. And my guess is she would figure out a way to justify that she needs alimony.

I don't think a court would look too favorably on a motion for this, is my opinion. If she wants to go live somewhere cheaper to make her alimony stretch, that's up to her. A court might think she's being financially astute. Unless you call this out in the original order and she agrees to it.

However, if her decision affects custody, that's another matter. In my state, it's all but impossible to move when there are minor children involved, even if you have sole custody.