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Title: I'm moving across the country Post by: Aw511 on November 08, 2013, 11:04:57 AM So I've decided to move 2,000 miles away. Not really a snap decision, something I have been thinking about for a LONG time. The BPD r/s definitely a motivating factor, though I am definitely not running from him. I haven't told my ex. The last time we communicated was a week ago via text. I have since blocked his phone number and haven't heard anything since. I was hoping he wouldn't find out until at least right before I left (a little less than 2 months) but I'm realizing now that is completely unrealistic since I am selling my furniture to a couple girls that work for him. (former coworkers of mine) I'm now totally freaking out. I don't want him to contact me and I am afraid that he is going to flip when he hears this news from someone other than me. I hate that I am still so worried about what he thinks.
Title: Re: I'm moving across the country Post by: Learning_curve74 on November 08, 2013, 11:27:28 AM Hey Aw511, I'm sorry to hear you feeling bad about worrying about his feelings. It's natural and very human though, so I think you pass the test for being human.
When you sell your furniture, are your old co-workers going to know it's because you are moving far away? They don't need to know why if you don't tell them. When you say he might flip, exactly what kind of behaviors are you worried about? Even though you've been thinking about it for a while now, the whole process of moving is still stressful. Are you pretty good at stress relief for yourself? Hang in there, Aw511. Title: Re: I'm moving across the country Post by: RecycledNoMore on November 09, 2013, 05:47:46 PM It hasnt been long since your breakup, its still so fresh and raw in your mind,I know your worried about what he thinks, so am I ( still), sometimes, there WILL be a day though that it wont be like this for us ( all), just like the Pantene advert says " it dosent happen over night, but it will happen" , I know your hurting, I can recognise that hopeless resignation in your post, you do what you feel Is right for you, you know your x, you know about BPD, so you probably know he wont be giving ur needs or feelings much attention at all unless it is of some use to him. Take care my friend.
Title: Re: I'm moving across the country Post by: Aw511 on November 09, 2013, 08:47:15 PM Thank you both for your responses. I ended up telling him through text today after a week of NC. (He reached out to me.) I told him and he didn't have much of a reaction at first but when I told him I sold my furniture he realized I wasn't bluffing and got upset. "Jesus were you going to tell me if I hadn't reached out to you?" Then abruptly ended the conversation. I'm happy he seemed upset. It probably woruld have hurt more if he hadn't seemed upset at all. Sick of holding on to a delusion... .i'm ready to move on... .
Title: Re: I'm moving across the country Post by: LivingLearning on November 09, 2013, 10:30:50 PM " I'm happy he seemed upset. It probably woruld have hurt more if he hadn't seemed upset at all. Sick of holding on to a delusion... .i'm ready to move on... . "
What rings true for me, yet maybe not you, is that the delusion is that he doesn't care. He was upset because he cares. Of course. Most of us care. And... .Does he meet what you want? Whether he cares or not, if he doesn't provide what you want then choose something else! (And maybe I so misunderstand) |