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I was sad. Hurt. A shell of a man. I was at the lowest point in my life and I felt like I'd never love again. I went to bed begging god to help me. I've been an atheist for about 8 years... .so yeah, I was desperate. The next day I got a call. It was my nephew's step-dad (long story) but anyway, he tells me that he has an idea for my nephew and I... .He proposes to help us start up a Tobacco Shop... .From that moment I set my sights on focused. I became driven. After 4 weeks of searching we just signed a 3 year lease, my nephew and I put in new flooring and paint and we are about 3-4 weeks away from opening up a shop. The point is that I have never felt more alive. I went from the most lonely guy with what I thought was no purpose, to doing something for my future. That's the best part... .that I actually have a future. I thought I had no future. My life was crap if I didn't have that 95lb angel... .Pffff... .I was in serious need of some good old fashioned balls. I'm sorry for those of you that do not like that talk, and I don't mean to offend anyone at all on here, but dude, sometimes you just got get your balls back. I'm not saying open a business, but I'm saying do something for yourself that you've always wanted to do but didn't have the guts to do. It is gonna raise your confidence level up because let's be honest, what an exBPD does is take all your confidence away... .man, forget that, or girl, forget that! Man or Woman! Do something for you! You are a good person! You can do something! Take a shower, get out of your house, act like you are the Shizz... .You don't have to be obnoxious but you deserve a little Spice in your life... .I may not make a dollar from this business (I pray I do) but if I walk away with nothing. It will have still saved my life. It really did.

Great advice Afool!  I agree totally with you.  I am trying to figure out what my next leap will be.   

Sometimes when God comes through - it's BAM!  A few more signs and maybe you can start believing.    I'm a Christian - that is a joke, just ribbing you.  He is good though.  I'm excited for you and I hope you are blessed in your new venture!

Thank You! Honestly, this is advice for the people out there that are ALMOST okay... .I know that when you are miserable it is next to impossible to even feel like you CAN do anything. I'm not making light of the misery that we go through, but I just want people to know that there is life after an exBPD... .Because I KNOW what it is like to be hopeless.

Hoorah for Tobacco!, and Hoorah for balls! Im so excited when I hear good news, stories of hope man, Im stoked for you!, Im kinda feelin pretty ok lately, I did feel like a useless drepressed dried up shell of a woman, I used to read posts's where people would say it gets better, but I really struggled to believe it, but yeah it does thanks to positive comments along the lines of " grow a pair" ,or " stand up for what you know is right"@lady31, so thanks, it made me smile

Great post, and good for you afool!

I totally get your point. I was in a similar situation after my break up. I started my own business too. Initially it was difficult to concentrate as the BPD was constantly in my mind but this changes gradually.

Time is the best healer and by doing something worthwhile, time becomes your friend.

But it's very important to be conscious that we don't use work (or other things) as distraction from the pain.

I am with you brother... .there came a point a couple weeks ago when I said to myself ,":)UDE, YOU NEED TO MAN UP!" i did and i feel better.

nice post