BPDFamily.com

Morning everyone.  I actually followed through this time, I had made attempts before to leave but this time I fought through the stress and doubt and built a plan.  This post is my follow up reflection of how I am feeling now.  And the answer is amazing, truly amazing.  Leading up to leaving and protecting my daughter I had worried about every little thing. Well here I am just blow away with how much better I feel, like to the point of smiling all the time.  Oh don't get me wrong I am damaged to the core, but it all seems less intense.  Like waking up from a dream.  I stood up for me, and still am and will continue to do so.  Oh and she tried and is trying to recycle me but it isn't going to happen.  I do mourn for the relationship that was but I won't go back I know better.

Good to hear this, Knowingishalf

about the smile and being proud of yourself.  |iiii

Keep going like this.  :)

FANTASTIC!  I'm so happy for you!  I'm almost there also, so thank you for turning on that light at the end of the tunnel.

I had texted a friend a thought I had.  My BPDex has inferred that I am going to suffer from loneliness.  I don't want to break my own NC just to annoy her or return a barb, but I'd love to ask her how I am going to suffer when I am at so much peace without her?

How long did this process take please?  I have tried a few times unsuccessfully to leave, allowed myself to be dragged back in and am trying to leave once again.   

Cheers to you and moving forward.   |iiii

It took me almost 3 years to leave.  I got so close so many times.  This time was different, I fought with myself so much and even on the last day while I was moving out I sat down and almost unpacked my car and came back in. But I pushed through and made it out.  I can never go full NC like I would like due to our child.  I am going to do what I need to, to keep me happy.  The good news is I didn't and with in a single day I felt like a new person.  I am more productive at work, I can focus it is the craziest thing.