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Title: I'm just so mad this morning Post by: BuildingFromScratch on November 15, 2013, 12:42:46 PM Look, I was one sad sick puppy too. But I always tried to understand, tried to be honest, expressed remorse, and sometimes I could even look at her and cry just because she was crying or smile because she is laughing, because I was that in tune with her emotions.
She did some hiting bullhit stuff like shame me for my sexuality for like 7 years. Caused me to lose my home, my best friend, my job, and most importantly, my sanity. For 7 years I'm been this nervous wreck, angry at her, yet repressing half the memories. Doing the "splitting" to her because she hurt me so bad. And still believing deep down she was this ideal person and that I just hited up. Even one time near the end I said "You've never said you're wrong in an argument, and she said: That's because I'm never wrong" She said it so meekly because it was so obviously intellectually dishonest. My brain told me, god this person is hopeless, but my heart still believed maybe she wasn't and that I was just this epic failure. It's taken me 10 years to say this to someone (she told me not to seek support for her, because "they'd think bad of her" and I obliged" But hit YOU. Title: Re: I'm just so mad this morning Post by: BuildingFromScratch on November 15, 2013, 01:09:19 PM Unfortunately I see no edit function... .oops, I'll keep it cleaner next time, lol.
Title: Re: I'm just so mad this morning Post by: strikeforce on November 15, 2013, 01:31:10 PM Its good to rant and let it out with people who understand
*welcome* Title: Re: I'm just so mad this morning Post by: BuildingFromScratch on November 15, 2013, 01:35:40 PM I realize I'm sick and co-dependent to even have allowed all this to happen but it's taken me ten years to think I even have a right to be pissed off and outraged so here goes.
You sucked me in by acting so perfect and accepting. You stole my life, my best friend, my job, and made me live in a trashed house for years. You stole my sanity and confidence and made me your emotional slave, then discarded me when I was too broken to be a human being. You shamed me for my sexuality. You let me always be the one to say sorry. You think everyone else is the problem, when you're the problem. You act like you're so honest. But you're a liar, an actor with many masks. You're so caught up in your own stuff that you lack any true understanding of anyone else. You love nothing. Screw you. Title: Re: I'm just so mad this morning Post by: necchi on November 16, 2013, 09:30:46 AM As hard as it is they never see the lights!, it's good that you open yourself or write any of this to the universe even writing and burning that text because it will bring you more than sending it to them. The words , feeling just makes them stronger ei: they'll use them against you in time then you'll go what the f %&&*ck ?
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