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Dude. It has been 12 years that my partner and I have lived together, and tomorrow she is moving out. We have gotten to a point where we are angry at each other or fighting 75% of the time, and we have both come to a new realization of how unacceptable her behavior has been towards me, so it is a mutual decision. We've been waiting to de-cohabitate until we weren't broke, but it just wasn't working and we both need to take some time to be in control of our own lives and grow a bit on our own, without blaming each other for everything. We are still in love, and not breaking up (for now).

Mostly I'm excited about not living with her. Tonight I am sad. This should have happened so long ago. And I wanted it to work so much. Yet it could work better now. Or we could glide away from each other. Either way, my new life begins tomorrow. It's exciting and sad. Thank you for listening. :)

isn't that a strange feeling... .that mixture of sadness and excitement?  i hope the excitement prevails for you. 

here's to your new life journey!

icu2

Peacebaby,

You say it well: it's exciting and sad.  You are both brave to take this step, and I hope your new life is rich and rewarding. 


Any ideas about what direction this will take?

After a move that could have been way worse, my partner is gone. :) Sad and excited. It is an ending but way more of a beginning.


For both of us, re-learning to take responsibility for our own lives and our own feelings. I will speak for myself, because I am officially more important to me than she is now, and say now that I have no one around to blame, I will start living my own life again. I will have more time to write, and focus on getting an agent. Get in shape, eat better, feel the feelings of not being in control of my home and no one yelling at me who I can't just hang up on. I'm going to socialize more, be in control of my own money

I totally understand how all of this happened. Most of the time I  can forgive myself, and forgive her. I've smudged the house officially. I still want to grow old with her. Perhaps this will change as time goes by. Perhaps not. But I am putting myself first now and making my own  way. :)

Today I'm dealing with the fact that I need to put thoughts of my relationship with "Carmel" aside. Totally focus on myself. I am going to start that exactly NOW. Every time I think of her I will turn it into a thought about myself. Wish me luck!  :)

Good luck.  :)

Who is peacebaby, apart from her relationship with "Carmel?"  What a wonderful road of discovery.

Oh, I'm pretty clear about who I am. Mostly I just need to be those things to the best of my ability. It's what I've been avoiding all my life so it's way long overdue. :)