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Title: I have weak moments, but the NC is empowering. Post by: Tourmaline on November 15, 2013, 10:49:46 PM Greetings,
Tonight I have considered sending an IM to my ex pwBPD, but it makes me feel powerful to be NC for periods of time. True Confession: It has been only 7 days since I sent an e-mail to him in which I stated that I have never known anyone who has such capacity for deception. I wish I better understood why it is so difficult to disengage. I'm really hoping to stay strong and continue with NC. Tourmaline Title: Re: I have weak moments, but the NC is empowering. Post by: Learning2Thrive on November 15, 2013, 11:04:23 PM Many reasons... .but one is that most likely you were *conditioned* over time to continue re-engaging after progressively horrendous treatment. And this is possibly (it was definitely for me) a familiar pattern from your FOO so it is even more embedded in you and if that is true, facing it means facing and dealing with the deep wounds and issues that may well have been buried (subconsciously) from childhood.
Hang in there. It does get better and easier... .though the difficult moments may arise seemingly unexpectedly from time to time. |