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We'll just when I think it can't get any worse it never fails to hit an all low. In previous text I told you son entered house with BPDDIL and read my private text. Then tried to blame it on grandson. Found out today that was a lie son and DIL read them and took pictures of said text. Then BPDDIL took them to nephews BPD wife and started a full blown family war.

I was advised by two counselors to find support in groups or individuals that had similar circumstances to help support each other through this nightmare. They violated not only my privacy but the person I was talking to and venting to. I have since contacted a lawyer seeing if I can file a civil lawsuit against my son and DIL. I have tried and tried to use all the tools available but to no avail. I know they say you can never win a battle with a borderline but a person has to reach a point of saying done. Breaking my civil rights is where I say enough. 10 years of dragging our family through the mud while we tried to turn the other cheek is causing nothing but pain, frustration and unreversable sadness.

Dear cpatlew,

this clear violation of your privacy was certainly stepping over the line.

It is very understandable that you want to go after her - who would not. But then how likely is it that any punishment would have an affect on her long established behavior patterns? And how do you avoid her playing victim which she has been able to do so well in the past? Would you not be just picking up the gauntlet (https://bpdfamily.com/message_board/index.php?topic=106107) she has thrown in the dirt before you?

Can you think this through from a self protection angle? Are there things you can do to prevent this from ever happening again? Can you formulate effective actions in terms of boundaries which are under your control?

Thank you anOught,

I was clearly past all reason when I wrote this message. I had it with all her mean, spiteful behaviors. My husband was suffering from extreme high blood pressure from the stress, my granddaughters were crying afraid of their uncle and aunt and I could only see the pain she was inflecting on my family. The utter disappointment in my son was so strong I couldn't think clearly. After much thought and prayer I now know what I must do. I have started NC with my son which I believe is the best thing for now. Locks have been changed on the house, new ones on ipad and phones. He has been removed from any thing that belongs to us. He must be alone and have to deal with her behavior and not be able to use us as whipping boys. This makes me sad for my grandchildren by him but I hope that someday they will be able to know the truth. When or if he begins to think clearly (whether she gets help or he leaves her or she leaves him) the door will be open and we will continue with a fresh new start. I love him but until then I can not allow him to destroy the people that love him the most. I am going to continue to buy gifts and cards for my grandchildren and keep them until the day that we can see them again. If that never happens then I will donate them to children that will appreciate what they have. No longer will he be able to use us to deflect her behaviors. :'(