BPDFamily.com

My uBPD mom often acts like a doctor and is constantly diagnosing everyone (including herself) with all sorts of crazy things, and I'm just wondering if others have experienced the same thing.

She had taken meds that had a side effect of sun sensitivity, so she took to calling this an allergy, convinced it was something in the drug, had the doctor switch several meds, and she was "allergic" to all of them, then started convincing us it had to be a universal binding agent in all pills making her break out.  Over time this blew up into being "allergic to the sun."

She took a non-scientific test to find out what all she is allergic to and came back with a page and a half of things that she's allergic to.  She printed out copies for all the family members to keep on hand.  One of these things was corn, which is in a ton of food products.  When I prepared a meal for a holiday, she told me "Oh don't worry about working around my special diet."  She went so far as to try and convince us they "sprinkled corn dust on fruit," during a conversation where she was trying to tell us she'd get sick from eating anything.

If a doctor actually diagnoses her issue X, even if they have results to back it up, they're wrong and she has Y and Z.

When she has something, I have it too.

She's tried to tell me I have medical issues that I most definitely do not.

She used to tell me my sister has cerebral palsy, which I believed until I met someone who actually had it.  There's no way she has it.  She blames the "botched birth" of my sister on the doctors, claims the doctors deleted several minutes of my sister's birth record, and that my parents didn't find out what was wrong with her until she older and by then it was "too late to do anything about it."

The corn allergy was a lose lose situation (I listen to her and get yelled at for not catering to her, or I don't and get belittled for not listening to her).  My sister's supposed cerebral palsy might be to excuse away feeling like she didn't do a good enough job raising her because she didn't fit into my mom's image of the daughter she wanted.  I don't understand why the need to turn a drug side effect into some full-blown event.  Or why the doctor is wrong all the time, or why she think she knows me better than I know myself.  Is this part of BPD, or is in another issue altogether?  Any insights or similar experiences?

Yes, my BPD/NPD mom has some similar behaviors. I think it is "attention-getting" behavior. For the last few years, she has been "allergic" to tons of different food stuffs and chemicals. For example, right now she is allergic to dairy, gluten, nightshades, and I don't know what else because I sort of stop listening. Yet, when I spend time with her, if she really wants to eat something (like pizza), she seems to conveniently forget her allergy and simply eat it right in front of me. Other times, we can be out in a restaurant and she makes a big deal about asking the waiter for the gluten-free menu items. Sometimes certain chemicals that are in the air cause her an "attack" and she will have to call in sick to work for days. She has always been like this.

She doesn't argue with doctors like your mom does. In fact, nobody ever takes her to the doctor. All her appointments are somehow always when she is alone, and she has had every illness known to man. When I was a child, I remember her telling me she had different cancers several times. She also fakes pregnancies. She also told me when I was 12 that my dad had AIDS (this was in 1986 when AIDS was in the news a lot). I remember crying during school and my 6th grade teacher asking me what was wrong and I told her what my mother told me: "My father is dying of AIDS because he had sex with an intravenous drug user." (I can only imagine the shock my teacher must have had.) I guess my mother never worried about lying about that one because I never saw my dad and she figured I would never know the truth. After she would tell me such things, she would never bring them up again. It was as if she never told me this in the first place. (I don't remember if I ever asked follow up questions.)

Right now my mom has "hoof and mouth" disease. She has flus and colds constantly. The last few years she likes to tell me about all the different worms she has - a heart worm, a brain worm. She has broken almost every bone known to man (yet not ones you'd wear a caste for) - for example, she broke her tailbone recently. She probably calls in sick 40-50% of the time but gets away with it because she owns her own business so her husband (husband #4) fills in for her while she is home recuperating.

When my sister and I were little, she told everyone (including the doctor) that my baby sister had seizures. A doctor actually prescribed anti-seizure medication to my infant sister. My biological father told me about this when I was an adult and he swears that my sister never had seizures and that my mom made the whole thing up to get sympathy and attention. She actually fed her infant daughter these powerful medications when she didn't even have the disease. That is how sick my mom is.

So, yeah, they lie!

I honestly have to laugh because my mom does the exact thing every one she knows has (something) it really makes me mad when she says my husband is autistic and for some reason it really gets to me because i want her to think the way i do i know my husband is not autistic but we will never make her belive that but i know that i have not yet found a way to not get mad when she talks about it good luck ot will drive you crazy

I work on a hospital unit were 30% of our patients have a BPD diagnosis.  Before I start work everyday I review the patients allergy list.  It is usually obvious who the patients diagnosed with BPD are by their long list of medication allergies.  Also our BPD patients tend to claim more frequently of food allergies.   

That's really interesting, Moonbeam77. Why do you think that is? Are people with BPD more susceptible to allergies, or do you think it's psychosomatic?

I work with people who have eating disorders.  As part of their therapy we expose them to the foods they are "allergic" to.  This is called a food challenge.  I find that to be very fitting description.  As far as medications, the physicians just avoid using the medications they are "allergic" to unless there is no other medication available to do the same job.  The psychiatrist then will retry using the medications they are "allergic" to under very controlled circumstances.  So yes, in my experience, people with BPD tend to be very psychosomatic.

Thanks for all the replies!


Mine does this all the time too.  She often forgets completely about her random allergies.  She was particularly dedicated to the corn one though, and it lasted a few months before it just got to be too much work to keep it up.  So in response to


it's psycosomatic with my mom.  She's never had a physical reaction to anything, and doesn't even get seasonal allergies as much as the rest of the family.


My mom is a pain to eat out with!  She asks for a ton of special requests (no salt or seasoning, cooked a certain way, etc.) and will insist she knows how they cook things even if the waiter will say they don't do that.  It got so bad I stopped going out to eat with her, it was so embarrassing! 


That's awful!  I was telling someone about some of the things my mom did, and they asked if my mom had that disease where they pretended their kid was sick to get attention, and I had to pause and think for a moment!  I told her, if I was sick more as a child I'd have to wonder that too.  It's so sad!  My mom has plenty of things she's really good at but she focuses on getting attention with the bad parts.

I just had to laugh at this one.  This is actually a very dangerous and poisonous plant, so really everyone is "allergic" to it!  We've recently had quite the time trying to get rid of it around our property.  If she's anything like my uBPDm, she's also in the category of not very bright... .

Yeah. I should have said "nightshade vegetables"... .that is apparently what she is "allergic" to... .

("Nightshade vegetables are in the Solanaceae family of plants. Among them are tomato, potato, eggplant, and peppers of all kinds, except black pepper. Tomatillos, tamarios, pepinos, pimentos, paprika, cayenne, and Tabasco sauce are also classified as nightshade foods." )

LOL.  :)