BPDFamily.com

Tonight I received an email from one of my ex's exes.  She is a married woman (now) and she noticed I was no longer on my ex's Facebook. 

We chatted a bit and she told me my ex clearly has emotional demons coupled with the inability to love anyone fully.

Mind you my ex has not painted this woman black and respects her. 

Everything rang true, the picked fights, this woman always being in the wrong.  It was definitely a confirmed pattern. 

She ended the conversation stating that I am a wonderful person who deserves someone who can love me properly. 

It was a letter I really needed today.  Almost like a small blessing to confirm I was not wrong here, there is more to this. 

That Is sweet to hear !

Exactly.  That's what I would make it mean, and it probably feels really good; enjoy it!

I wasn't as blessed, but she did tell me that her three previous exes all did something "heinous", her word, as the relationships were melting down.  Those relationships lasted longer than mine did with her, some involved cohabitation, and of course there are two sides to every story, but yeah, of course the exes did; I couldn't have gone another day tolerating all her crap, and the only thing all of us have in common is her.  I'm running with it.  

And of course that was my mantra as I learned about the disorder and detached; it wasn't all me!  I knew that intellectually anyway, in fact it was very little me, but with the constant onslaught of blame and abuse I did doubt myself.  Nothing helped more than getting some distance and becoming 100% clear what I was responsible for.  Freeing.

the random belittling and raging can crush  our spirit and self esteem.  It's really great to have validation.  I hope it gives you closure so that you heal and are able to be in a healthy relationship. 

 Remember her words when BPD returns acting perfect, and everything you ever wanted again. They were'nt called the Great Chameleon's for nothing. But in time, BPD  rears it's ugly head again.

You are right, Glenn.  And she will return. I live less than three miles from her.  Her new girl is 45min away.  I know the day will come.  I am getting stronger by the day though, thanks to this forum and the support of good friends. 

Wow. It is nice to get that kind of validation.

I would love to hear what other former exes have to say. It would help to cut thru all the crap. But, the code of silence in our community is very strong.

Hey, Angel, you are so lucky!  Not many people have the opportunity to be validated this way!  I'm glad you have that.

My BPDex-g/f would often throw a couple of my past r/s's up in my face, but always backwards.  She'll yell how "thaty's why they left you", but I left the prior g/f after 2yrs, and I filed for the divorce prior to that.  No one left me, so my BPDex was just scrambling for weapons to throw.

I wouldn't mind talking to her ex-hubby and compare notes!

Be well!