BPDFamily.com

Hey guys,

I have finished my relationship with BPD (I guess) GF recently (10 days ago) - it was short relationship approx 4 months. Five days ago we have met last time to chat and I was trying to get my stuff back, just a few important books for me. Anyway she said that time:

1) she already sent the books using the post office - I knew it was a lie

2) she is not going to give me my book back because I am a terrible person and I have hurt her

So I have decided it would be better to buy those books again instead of being involved with this person again. So I assumed everything is alright, I went NC but today she has been texting me again:

her: hey I want to give you your books back, how can I do it? (post office is not an option)

me: I don't need them, you can keep them if you want.

her: I can't keep them because they are signed, somebody will think I have stolen them from you. So how can I

give them back? ***What the heck?***

me: you have 3 options: 1) erase the signature 2) destroy the books 3) leave it near my front doors or give it to my sister/brother. It makes no difference for me which option you prefer.

her: don't be ridiculous when you will have 5 mins of your time to pick them?

I have decided to not to respond any more. But seriously what the hell is going on again?

Hi zordon11,

It sounds like your ex would like to see you, and possibly re-engage.  It isn't unusual on these boards.  It's not easy to stay in contact with an ex so freshly out of the relationship, I think you are handling things really well, with the three options.  |iiii


Zordon, I've read your intro post and it sounds like there has been some back and forth between you and your girlfriend.  That is really painful.  I remember that happening in my relationship, too, until I couldn't take it anymore.

How are you taking care of yourself right now?

Keep posting.  We're here for you. 

Hey,

Thanks for kind words. My ex has already asked me 5 times if I would like to start over again. I have stated to her directly that this is not an option any more. I have no idea what is happening because one time she says she hates me with all her heart and 2 hours after she wants to go shopping with me and acts like nothing happened. Now she is trying to give me back my books which I have already bought again because last time she said she will not return them. I don't think a sane person can understand her actions. 

As for myself I am lucky enough (I hope) to be with her only for a couple of months not years like many people on this board. I am feeling more better every day. It seems like a lot of weight from my shoulders is gone and I don't feel so anxious all the time. I can sleep, I am slowly recovering. I want to continue no contact because she scares me more and more with every message she sends.

Hi zordon11,

Good for you for holding to your resolve. I think the 3 options are all very reasonable. And no more contact of any kind. Stay clear and strong. So glad you are feeling better every day.

Hi zordon11, I think you're handling everything well. If you no longer want contact with your exgf, you might consider blocking her texts and phone calls to avoid being bothered by them.

This push-pull, I-hate-you-don't-leave-me behavior is very common to BPD. You don't necessarily have to understand it, you really only need to understand what you will put up with and what you will not, and then your decisions can be made with a clear mind.

Best wishes to you.  

Thanks guys and all the best to you as well!

Regarding the ex-gf drama I know the minute I will start talking with her in person she will simply manipulate me like she did in the past.