BPDFamily.com

Since it is almost Thanksgiving, I know a lot of us are struggling with our BPD person and the holidays.  I thought I would start a different kind of topic, one of thanksgiving…

As a child, were there people in your life that shaped in you a positive way during the difficulties you had growing up?

If so, lets celebrate them here and give them thanks.

For me,  my paternal grandmother was a rock.  We visited weekly, with just her example, she taught me so much about a different way to look at life.  My girls scout leader and her family always welcomed me, even though my uBPD mom spread her crazy making to them.  I used these two people to model how I wanted my adult life to look like.  This was not a conscience decision, but I can see it now looking back.  For them I am grateful.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you

That person would be my paternal grandmother. She took care of my as a child on the weekends. I miss her dearly and wish I knew how much she meant to me before she past. I wish I had the chance to tell her what she really meant to me.

My paternal grandfather.  He passed away in 2004 and I miss him so much.  Of course, he was my uNPD deceased father's dad, so he treated my dad like a little golden boy, but he was one of the few people who knew my family *and* treated me w/ compassion.  Pretty much everyone else was brainwashed by my uBPD mom and dad. 

I'm also thankful to one of my maternal aunties.  I saw her maybe two or three times growing up, but she and her ex husband (gawd, this side of the family is complicated!) were always really kind to me.  They're somewhat in my life now. 

I too wish I had known what my grandmother meant to me before she passed away, itsnotme.  I miss her and wish I could ask her a whole bunch of adult questions and pick her brain. I am glad you too had a grandmother who cared for you

Redroom, Who better to know what you were experiencing than you dad's dad.  Happy for you that you too had kind and compassionate people in your life.

Do either of you think having these people made it easier to see our BPD's craziness?  I mean, having a place where people treated you with respect, did this give you some perspective on the mess you were living in?  I think it made a difference for me.  I did not see it as a child, but as a child, I felt a calmness with my grandma and my girl scout leaders family.  Something different, that I desperately wanted.