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Relationship Partner with BPD (Straight and LGBT+) => Romantic Relationship | Detaching and Learning after a Failed Relationship => Topic started by: imstronghere2 on November 27, 2013, 01:20:08 PM



Title: opinions sought on this twisted ironic mess
Post by: imstronghere2 on November 27, 2013, 01:20:08 PM
So, I'm just over 2 years out from my divorce from my exwBPD.  :)oing pretty well overall as are our children who she abandoned.  

She had begun an affair approx. 3 months before leaving us with a man who I have just recently found out was also married at the time.  I have also found out that he had just got married 4 months before starting the affair with my exwBPD.   I also found out that his divorce was finalized on the Monday of the same week of the Friday he married my exwBPD, which was just one year and one week after my divorce was final.  

Still with me?  I have no idea how many times this guy's been married nor do I care.  His behavior and my exwBPD's behavior is sick and twisted and they deserve each other.   LOL

Anyway, I've been wondering if I should make contact with his ex-wife?   She's apparently very nice and a supportive mother.  My reason to make contact would be to fill in any gaps she may have or to give her some sort of closure on what happened as I'm sure she has no idea about what happened to my family.   Maybe it would make her feel better to know that her ex-husband isn't going to live out the fantasy life I'm sure he portrayed to her?   But then, she may not care and I may just be opening wounds that don't need to be opened.  The last thing I want to do is bring any more pain in to this twisted mess.

Just not sure.  Would like to at least offer but once that door is opened, it can't be shut again.

Thanks


Title: Re: opinions sought on this twisted ironic mess
Post by: Regular_Joe on November 27, 2013, 01:38:40 PM
My $0.02: 

If (and that's a big "if" your exBPD's current husband's ex-wife needs closure, she doesn't need it from you.

I would emphatically advise you NOT to open up that Pandora's Box of what sounds like potential "crazy-fuel" for your exBPD. I simply can't see any good coming of it. Additionally, it would likely only prolong and hinder the process of detaching from your exBPD... .which from my experience, you should make your number one priority.


Title: Re: opinions sought on this twisted ironic mess
Post by: Pretty Woman on November 27, 2013, 01:46:44 PM
Do NOT do it. Trust me. No good can come of it.

I know it is out of compassion you want to help but it will only fuel your ex esp this is her current beau's ex.


Title: Re: opinions sought on this twisted ironic mess
Post by: imstronghere2 on November 27, 2013, 02:48:48 PM
Gotcha.  Hear you loud and clear.   Will leave this sleeping dog lie.

Thanks

I just needed to hear it from those that have been through it.

|iiii